


But just for tonight hold on

by LouisBottomHalf



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, But its harmless and i swear you'll understand why, Chaptered, Coming Out, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Harry in Denial, Harrys kind of a dick sometimes, Insecure Louis, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Sex, Sexuality Crisis, Smut, This is my first fanfic so bear with me, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouisBottomHalf/pseuds/LouisBottomHalf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has gone over his sexuality time and time again in his mind and just because he enjoys the way Harrys large frame fits around his body when they cuddle on the couch, or the way his rough calloused hands feel against his skin does not make him gay. Nope, and just because Louis has never felt such a rush as when his lips small lips were pressed against Harrys full ones doesn’t mean that the kiss meant anything.</p>
<p> <br/>or the one where Louis kisses Harry on a dare and both boys must come to terms with their sexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And for the first time I had something to lose

**Author's Note:**

> Hii for all you new readers, I'm Penelope and this is my first fan fic! Don't give up on my after 1 or 2 chapters I swear my writing has been developing and getting better with every chapter I post! Chapter 6 is currently my favorite, Hope you enjoy:)
> 
> -Nelly (@LouisBottomHalf)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay i don't even know where this came from but ah my first fic!!  
> Pleaseeee comment and or leave kudos:)  
> ..really even if you think its complete shit or have any tips for me don't be afraid to say something!
> 
> @LouisBottomHalf
> 
> Hope you enjoy:)!
> 
> -Penelope (Elly, Nelly call me whatever )

Louis has always been comfortable in his own skin; he's always been the ringleader; the loudest in a room full of people; always the one to make everyone laugh.

And that's exactly what he's doing right now, sat in Harry's flat with the lads drinking beer and eating take out, having a proper lad's night because really, there would be no better way to end their first tour than this.

“I dare you to suck a love bite right onto Liam’s neck,” Louis proudly dares Niall, puffing out his chest knowing just how uncomfortable Liam gets when things start getting like this.

See, all the boys are super close, no one thinks twice about having a cuddle or smacking a kiss to each others cheeks, especially Harry and Louis.

Given the fact that the boys share a house, and a bed most nights, Harry and Louis have always been extremely close.  _"They get on like a house on fire"-_ That's always the words people used to describe their relationship. 

Maybe it was just the fact Harry looked up to Louis, who was older and funny and outgoing, or maybe it was that Louis took it upon himself to be the 'protective older brother', either way, right from the start Harry and Louis have always just been _HarryandLouis_.

Niall doesn’t think twice before he’s latched onto Liam’s neck while Liam squirms and shakes him off as quickly as he possibly can.

Once all the laughter has died down and the blush has faded from Liam’s cheeks, he decides it's time to get even. 

“Right, if we're going to go there tonight then, Louis, truth or dare?” Liam asks with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Dare, mate, who do you think I am?”

“Louis, I dare you to kiss Harry on the lips, like a proper kiss, not just a peck,” Liam announces, looking smug, arms folded over his chest.

Harry squirms in his seat, slightly uncomfortably at the idea of his best mate kissing him on the lips. He looks over to Louis who is already making his way across the living room towards him.

“God Liam, is that the absolute best you could come up with, c’mere young Harold lets show Liam how its done”

Harry pulls back before Louis is even near kissing him yet stuttering over his words,

“I- I don’t know Louis, S’kinda weird if you think about it”

“Harrrrrry” Louis whines, “Really what would be the big deal, its not like either of us are gay or anything, its just a kiss to prove to Liam over there that there’s no need to get all antsy with himself whenever we all get a little cuddly”

Harry shrugs, Niall chimes in barking out a laugh,

“Yeah Harry its not a big deal, just friends having a snog”

“Oh hush Niall its not even a proper snog, just a mere kiss” Louis is huffing out before he advances over to where Harry is sitting cross legged in front of the couch.

Louis plops himself down right in front of Harry, not even giving him a second to register what’s about to happen before he’s leaning in and pressing his thin chapped lips against Harry’s slick pink ones.

The kiss is not slow and it’s not sensual, but Harry feels something bubble deep in his stomach, Louis has always been a force to reckon with but this is totally different. Harrys kissed plenty of girls before, all soft lips, lined with some kind of lipstick or fruity flavor, but never a guy, he never actually thought to try kissing a guy before actually. Theres something about the taste of Louis rough lips that makes Harrys stomach flip in ways no girl has ever made his stomach flip before.

Just when Harry feels Louis begin to pull away, he brings his hands up cupping Louis cheeks, almost like a second nature reflex but Louis abruptly pulls back from the kiss. Wide eyed and shocked Louis is staring at Harry now not saying a single word for what feels like centuries but is probably only like three seconds.

Harry cant help but notice the almost empty feeling when Louis lips part from his and although his eyes were never shut Harry only now notices the dark look in Louis eyes, but he cant quite pin point what the dark look is, lust or anger?

“U-uh see Liam no big deal” Louis finally stutters out, eyes still locked on Harry’s before he’s quickly standing up.

“Yah mate, that really looked like no big deal”, Zayn says with a smirk playing on his lips.

"Oh shut it Zayn, you act like you would have gone through with that" Louis spits.

"Woah bro, calm down I was messing around with you" Zayn replys, meeting Louis harsh gaze, "No need to get so defensive"

Panic starts to set in Harrys stomach, Louis never snaps at Zayn, and what is with the defensiveness anyway? Its not like Louis felt the same way Harry did, after all he pulled back so fast Harry is surprised he didn't hurt himself.

"Guys chill out, it was just a dare, really…no big deal" Harry draws out.

Louis looks around the room and see’s Liam’s eyes wide, probably with the shock that he actually went through with this and Niall tipping back the last of his beer before getting up and realizing the time.

“Christ, I’m knackered, you lads ready to head out with me”

Zayn and Liam both nod their heads as everyone including Harry and Louis help gather up the empty bottles throwing them out and ushering the boys out of their flat.

Harry can't stop thinking about the kiss and the way it made him feel, straight guys don't get butterflies in their stomach from kissing their best mates and Harry was sure he was straight? right?

 

The kiss is not spoken about again until the two are getting ready for bed that night, going through their usual routine, which would have normally been Louis hogging up the bathroom and not giving Harry enough space or elbow room to brush his teeth, which would then normally lead to them play fighting into Harrys bed and falling asleep wrapped in each others arms, you know totally platonic. Tonight was different though because Louis gave Harry all the space he needed and then some.

Thinking back on it Harry regrets pulling Louis in by his face, it was uncalled for really; I mean what friendly kiss would ever involve such a passionate touch? What friendly mates kiss on the lips? Oh that’s right HarryandLouis.

Harry knows he has to make things normal again before it gets worse, and possibly shake this stupid feeling thats overcome him.

Walking down the hall and into Louis room, Harry's palms are sweating and okay Harry pull yourself together, its just Louis your going to talk to, relax. When Harry enters the room he see's Louis already sitting in bed getting ready to lay down. Standing in the doorframe of the bedroom Harry begins to speak.

“Lou you’re acting a bit weird, do you wanna like uh, erm, talk about, the uh-“

“No, I have no idea what your talking about, I’m completely acting normal Harold, actually scratch that I'm not acting anything i am normal” Louis cuts in while flicking his feathery fringe out of his eyes. “Just tired is all”

Tired Harry’s ass, and even if Lou was tired it still wouldn’t make sense as to why he isn’t sleeping in Harrys bed tonight, and its not like Harry needs Louis there, no, its just that it is that much easier to fall asleep when Louis is next to him, Like a personal space heater is all, completely normal.

“Well why don’t you come to my room, we can like watch a film until you fall asleep?…like we normally do”

“No Harry, Jesus, I’m tired and m’ already in bed, stop acting like me sleeping in my own bed is a crime” Louis spits, and no its really not a crime but it also is not normal Louis behavior and Harry has had just about enough of Louis sass when he snaps at him. It was just a kiss Louis said so himself, it meant nothing to Louis and so it meant nothing to Harry and so why is Louis not acting normal?

“No, you know what Louis, I’m not gonna have things be weird and tense between us all because of a stupid dare, it was just a kiss, it meant nothing, I don’t know why your so scared of that. I could literally get into your bed and kiss you again if you say the word and guess what Louis! It still would mean nothing”

Harrys fuming now, he has no idea where this sudden bravery has come from and when he looks over to Louis he sees anger in his best friends eyes.

And not that the kiss had meant something to Louis because no, that would be ridiculous, Louis has gone over his sexuality time and time again in his own mind and just because he enjoys the way Harrys large frame fits around his body when they cuddle on the couch, or the way his rough calloused hands feel against Louis skin, does not make him gay, nope

And Louis has experimented before, he's kissed plenty of guys, which is why he thought he was straight because none of them ever gave him the feeling that he had felt tonight, but then again neither had any girl Louis has ever kissed.

And just because Louis has never felt such a rush, as when his lips small lips were pressed against Harrys full ones doesn’t mean that the kiss meant anything still.

“What are you on about?!” Louis screams, eyebrows pulled tight together. “I never said it meant anything Harry and if I do recall correctly I am the one who ended the kiss”

“Exactly Louis, you were scared and you pulled back!” Harry defends stepping forward further into Louis dimly lit room.

“I was not scared, I’m saying it ‘the word’ or whatever if that’s what it will take to prove to you that it meant nothing to me then fine, do it again!” Louis springs out of his bed and is now standing inches from Harrys face. His blue eyes a dark shade of grey and his tiny hands balled into fists at his sides.

Harry’s heart is racing in his chest, he never once imagined Louis would actually agree to kiss again,Let alone kiss him here in Louis bedroom while Louis is wearing nothing but a tiny striped T-shirt and pair of tight, wow really tight boxers that cling to louis thighs perfectly. Harry had suggested kissing again more to scare Louis than anything, he can’t back down now though or he will be the one who ends up looking like the hypocrite.

Harry is broken from his thoughts when Louis is shoving Harry down into the bed, hands sprawled across Harrys chest, straddling his wide frame with his muscular thighs and oh okay so this is happening.

Louis leans down centimeters from Harrys face, his own face flushed and heart pumping a thousands beats a second, paranoid that Harry will be able to sense his nerves and excitement because maybe deep down the swooshing feeling Louis felt earlier while kissing Harry did mean something more to him, maybe.

“Go” Louis breathes out against Harry’s lips and there is no hesitation when Harry crashes his lips up into Louis.

Kissing turns into full on snogging when Harry flips the smaller but older boy over onto his back so that Harry is now sitting in-between Louis tanned legs. Harry licks Louis lower lip and Louis opens his mouth granting Harry access.

The smooth swipe of their wet tongues has Harry dick fattening in his boxers and this is all becoming to much to quick, but he will not be the first one to pull back because that would defeat the purpose of everything he is trying to prove to Louis, that kissing is and was no big deal.

Harrys doing his best to keep Louis from noticing that his dick is tenting in his boxers, that is until Louis wraps his legs around Harrys lower back pulling him entirely closer to Louis body, his hard cock pushing into Louis stomach, earning Harry a moan from the older boy, and wow that was unexpected and Harry hopes to god that Louis makes that noise again.

Harrys hands are traveling now, desperate to hear Louis again, they are both caught in the heat of the moment and when Harry runs Louis nipple in between his thumb and fore finger earning him another moan from Louis he decides to take things a step further.

Breaking contact with Louis mouth, Harry trails a line of love bites down Louis neck, marking his skin until his hot breath his hovering directly over Louis nipple as his other hand runs light scratches down Louis opposite side. Louis is mewling under Harrys touch, legs wrapped tight around Harrys back and head tipped back exposing the purpling bruises Harry left.

Harry attacks Louis nipples with his tongue, swirling over the sensitive bud, eliciting delicious whiny moans from Louis who is now bucking his hips up involuntarily.

Louis is hard and Harry can feel it, ignoring his own aching dick and realizing that neither of them plan on stopping Harry moves lower pulling Louis now fully hard cock from his boxers and wow does Louis have a pretty dick.

Is that a normal thought to think of your best mates dick? That it’s pretty? Harrys mind is spinning and Louis dick, which is definitely smaller than Harrys in Length and Width, but still never the less gorgeous is staring Harry in the face.

Harrys never jerked another guy off before, but how different could it be from doing it to yourself?

He is quick to wrap his big hand around Louis length pumping him slowly, and for the first time since they have started kissing Harry feels Louis body tense up. Harry can tell Louis is about to pull away, Louis is heisting now clearly over thinking what’s happening but not wanting to be the first to pull away from this. Harry meets Louis gaze and Louis has the same look in his eyes he had when Harry had cupped his face in the living room, only now Harry can tell what the look is. Its Lust, 100% lust in Louis eyes. Its the last of Louis eyes Harry see's before Louis is shutting them tight and turning his face to the side, away from Harrys heated stare.

Harry continues to pump Louis cock, running his thumb over the tip, spreading the pre come leaking from Louis tip down his thick shaft making the glide of Harrys rough hands smoother.

Louis got his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth, Harry uses his thumb to pull Louis lip out of his mouth, while pumping faster up and down Louis length and that’s when he feels it.

Warm come is dripping down Harrys fist, which is still wrapped tight around Louis cock. Louis who still has his eyes clenched shut and head tilted to the side; Harry pretends he doesn’t see the tear that must have escaped from Louis eye.

Releasing his grip Harry climbs off the bed, ignoring his own aching cock and moves quickly into the bathroom, leaving Louis alone flushed and pliant in his bed. Harry doesn't bother to wash his hand off before he pulls out his dick and pumps his own length quickly, slick with Louis come,before reaching his own orgasm. This is definitely not normal Harry thinks.

And if Harry thought things between him and Louis were weird before, he wishes he would have known how weird they would be after giving his best mate probably one of the best orgasms of his life.

Harrys wipes himself off and climbs into his cold bed, doing his best not to think about the boy he left alone in the other room, the boy he can hear whimpering through the walls or the fact that he wishes that, that same boy would come crawl into bed with him.

Harry eventually falls asleep, staring at his bedroom door waiting for his Louis, his best friends to burst through and cuddle until sleep takes them under, but it doesn’t happen.

Louis doesn’t come, and Harry falls asleep alone, cold and confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SORRY IF THAT SMUT WAS HORRIBLE LITERALLY DONT HATE ME, also this chapter was pretty short the others are longer i promise:)
> 
> If anyone would like to become my official grammar police tweet me @LouisBottomHalf
> 
>  
> 
> Btw my chapter titles are all song lyrics! usually one of the songs I might have listened to while writing.
> 
> Chapter one is Holy Ground -Taylor swift
> 
> yeah yeah everyone hates taylor get over it;)


	2. Gotta stop pretending what we ain't, why we Pointing fingers anyway?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and the the boys (minus Harry) have a lads day and then Harry finally comes home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone freaks out, I love love Louis to death and i think nothing badly of him or the way he looks, the things i wrote are supposed to give you an insight on how Louis feels and he feels uncomfortable in his own skin right now so yeah! Louis is beautiful every inch of him:)
> 
> Tried out switching back forth from Louis and Harry's point of view so if you like that or don't like that let me know!
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is a little bit longer and I mean really just a little bit longer haha
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> @LouisBottomHalf

Louis P.O.V.

 

When Louis wakes up the next morning his face is swollen and his cheeks are salty from the tear tracks that dried on his skin overnight.

Louis does not wake up to the smell of French toast cooking in the kitchen but this morning, he wakes to the smell of nothing. He doesn’t hear bacon crackling on the stove and he doesn’t hear Harry humming along to any of his hipster bands while cooking himself and Louis one of his famous breakfasts.

Louis groans pulling his down up over his ears, the silence is deafening, making it ten times harder for Louis to drown out the little voice in his head reminding him of what he had done last night, orgasmed from the touch of his best friend.

One night Tomlinson, you had one night where you needed to control your dick but no. Louis has a hard time controlling anything when Harry was around, the boy is captivating and as straight as Louis had convinced himself he was, the disastrous (well actually the absolutely bloody amazing) events of last night had proved him otherwise.

There is no way a straight boy would ever feel this way towards another boy, after one.. well now two kisses, Louis thinks. But thats okay because he will just go tell Harry that he is just confused and maybe Harry is just confused as he is, maybe they can talk it through this time. They could have talked it through last night if Louis would have just talked to Harry and not been such a coward, leading him to the event that probably has Harry disgusted with him for life. 

Louis finally brings himself out of bed and drags himself out into the hallway, looking for any signs of Harry; it really was not like him to sleep this late.

As soon as Louis shuffles into Harry’s room he notices two things, one Harry is not in his bed and two, he notices his reflection in Harrys mirror.

Louis walks in the room further bringing himself face to face with the large mirror sitting opposite Harry's bed. His small frame is drowning in white and blue striped T-shirt that he wound up sleeping in after last night. He turns his body a little, looking over his shoulder and taking in his own curves, the swell of his own ass in his skin- tight blue boxers covered in little red stars, moving down he sees small but strong tanned thighs sitting above his skinny calves and small delicate girl like ankles.

Its not that Louis ever actually struggled with the way he looked or ever actually cared about his sexuality, he always just went about wearing what felt right to him and doing whoever felt right to him without a care what others would think, but right now standing in front of this giant mirror Louis feels so small, not only physically but emotionally. 

Louis feels incredibly gay and incredibly stupid, all the brave intentions Louis had of coming into Harry's room to tell him about how he is feeling is quickly gone. Louis wants to disappear and so he does so the best way he could in that moment. Crumbling to the floor he wraps himself up to his head with the blankets he dragged with him from his own bed tucks his head in between his knees and cry’s. 

He cry’s because his hands are to little, and his bum is to big, he cry's because everything he thought he figured out about himself has been turned upside down in one night and he cry’s because him being himself could have potentially just lost him his best friend in the entire world.

Louis has no idea how long he is sitting there crying, it could have been minutes or hours, his face and eyes are stinging from all the tears and he wants nothing more than to just lay down where he is and go back to sleep.

That is until Harry comes stepping into the room, brown bag in hand from the café up the street and a warm coffee in the other, he places them down on his nightstand before notices the whimpering ball of bed sheets on his bedroom floor.

“Louis…” Harry asks out loud, “Louis what are you doing”

“Harry, I-I’m so I’m so sorry” Louis croaks out, voice mumbled under the blankets.

“I’m sorry and I swear I’m getting out of your room now” Louis begins to stand up making sure his blankets are covering the lower half of his body, as if there’s anything left for the imagination that Harry would see anyway, but Louis just feels so insecure and so not himself he doesn’t even know how to act, and he hates that, that he doesn't know how to behave in the presence of his best friend. It makes the top of Louis list of worst feelings probably ever.

“Don’t bother, I’m leaving for a few days, I left you muffins in the kitchen” Harry mumbles before turning on his heel, collecting his leather book from his nightstand, grabbing his breakfast and continuing to walk out of the room.

Louis follows him, pushing his fringe out of his wet eyes, mind buzzing, leaving? How could Harry leave right now? Then again how could he stay? 

“Harry please don’t leave, we can talk about it and pretend it never happened if that’s what you want, I didn’t stop you last night because I just thought that’s what you wanted me to do, you- you know Harry not stop you”

Harry whips around surprising Louis and grabbing him by the wrist with slightly more force than necessary shutting Louis up immediately. “Don’t Louis. Do not try and turn last night around on me, You wanted it or you would have stopped me, there’s nothing to talk about Louis you might be gay, you might have wanted last night to reach the point it did but I, I did not and I am not gay” Harry spits, releasing his grip from Louis wrist, turning around and heading towards the door.

Louis stands there, feeling defeated for what feels like the hundredth time in a matter of hours, voice caught in his throat. How could he say those things, Harrys the one who made the advances anyway not Louis, Louis just well, didn't stop him.

“Fine then” Louis finally manages to chokes out, voice barely louder than a whisper, “just leave Harry”

The door to the flat slams shut and Louis is left alone, crying again.

Louis spends the rest of the day sitting on the couch, watching awful rom coms and eating crisps because really what else is he supposed to do now? He has gotten a few text messages from the boys, and he picks up his phone to read them.

DADDY LIAM is the first name Louis see's on his screen and he cringes, everything in Louis life just feels 10x more gay than it had yesterday. Ignoring the feeling Louis swipes right revealing the text message.

DADDY LIAM: hey lou, you and Harry okay? things got weird last night. Sorry for that.

Louis ignored the text because he really doesn't know the proper answer and moves on to the others.

Zayn: Blunt?????

And okay yeah but Louis is just not in the mood to talk to anyone right now so he decides in the end to ignore Zayn too, just as Louis is tossing his phone back down it buzzes again with a new message. Louis quickly picks it pack up eager to see if its Harry but to his surprise it isn't, its Harrys mother.

Anne Cox: Hi Darling, H has arrived home this afternoon but is locked away in his bedroom…is he alright?

Louis drops his phone just drops it right there gets up leaves the room. He gets himself a fresh can of soda, and Harrys mom is worried about him, and he opens himself a new bag of crisps and Harrys mom wants an explanation that Louis can't give her and louis plops right back down on the couch and he has to answer her because he doesn't want to leave her worrying.

He picks up the phone and types out a quick message back to Anne, giving enough information that if Harry tells her the truth she won't think Louis lied but being bland enough that he doesn't give anything away incase Harry doesn't tell her. Hopefully Anne will stop worrying.

Louis: had a long nite, may be a bit tired or a bit angry w/ me…u kno how things can get when you live together.

Louis sighs tossing his phone back down after turning of the ringer, he really does not want to have to answer to anybody anymore.

After two days of moping around and no word from Harry..or response from Anne even hinting at how Harry is doing, Louis decides its time to move on with his life, I mean how hard could it be without Harry around? Louis only managed to burn breakfast, lunch and his smallest finger cooking, but you know what no big deal.

Louis picks up his cell phone to call back the other lads who have texted him and called him multiple times in the past day, probably all wondering whats going on. Unless Harry has already told them.. the thing was Louis didn’t even really know what was going on and he wasn’t in the mood to explain what happened between him and Harry to the boys, nor did he know if Harry would even want the others to know.

Harry has managed to leave Louis feeling like an absolute basket case, I mean yeah Harry was partially right in saying that Louis wanted it, I mean in the state Harry had put him in basically torturing Louis nipples with his rough fingers and tongue, who wouldn’t have wanted it? But the thing is Louis never made Harry do anything and although Louis never backed away he never was the one to advance the snogging session into a full on hand job either, that was all Harrys doing. 

Throwing on a beanie, sweats and a pair of toms Louis dials Zayn’s number and heads out of the flat.

“Hullo” The Bradford boy picks up the phone momentarily confused.

“Zayn, I know I’ve been complete shit and ignoring you for like two days and trust me I know it sucks to be ignored but please, please open your door, im walking over and I really need to talk to you”

“Loueh, of course! I- we aren’t mad at you, your not shit, were just worried sick, where’s Harry? are you outside Liam is h-"

“AH FUCK, BLOODY HELL” Louis wails into the phone line.

“Loueh! Jesus Lou are you alright what’s happening!”

“Nothing you twit I’ve smashed my foot on a rock and Toms aren’t exactly as earth proof as the stupid boots you wear!"

"Jesus Lou, well you scared the crap out of meh, why is Harry home? are you fighting? me and Li thought something was up when we left the oth-"

"Hush please just hush with the questions right now Zayn…and let me in I’m dying outside on your porch”

The line goes dead and moments later Louis can hear the turning of the locks and then there Zayn is in all his Greek god beauty standing at the front door and god Louis had no idea how badly he needed to see Zayn until right now.

Louis not even in the house yet when he breaks down, crying in Zayn’s arms telling him every detail of the night after all the boys left, right down to the details of Harry's kissing proposal, Louis orgasm-ing in his best friends hand, Harry finding Louis the next morning and not even be concerned with why Louis was already crying when he found him, right up to the moment Harry left.

It was easier to let out than Louis thought it would be, probably hard for Zayn to understand through Louis broken sobs, but Zayn gets the gist of it and is literally fuming, no literally Louis can see smoke coming out of Zayns ears.

Zayn sits Louis down on his couch and backs away pacing the living room floor.

“So you’re telling me.” Zayn begins, “that Harry…the Harry who is best friends with Grimshaw, has gone to gay clubs in the past, has proudly skipped around signings wearing a ‘Larry’ T-shirt, had the fucking nerve to make you, Louis Tomlinson his best friend feel low about something you cant change about yourself, something that is apart of you that makes you who you fucking are?”

And wow does Zayn have a thick accent when he’s mad. Louis stops and thinks for a moment to really register what Zayn just said, and he’s right. Harry has never had a problem with anyone being gay in the past, why is he acting like the possibility of Louis being gay completely disgusts him?

"Not to mention he basically comes onto you, makes you feel good and then turns around and throws the fact that you enjoyed his actions in your face?" 

As mad as Louis is he still can't bear to hear such awful things about Harry, because yeah Harry made Louis feel low but all Louis and been able to think about is how Harry is feeling, why was he locked away in his room at home? 

"Listen Zayn, i don't really know y'know, and Anne texted me that Harry was home but seemed upset, why would he be upset i thought he was angry? I've gone and ruined everything how are we supposed to be a band when I'm 50 shades of gay and Harry can hardly stand to be in my presence and now Liam won't be able to either " Louis sighs dropping his head to his lap when he feels warm hands on his shoulder.

"Lou, babes, look at me" Liam quietly says next to Louis ear. And okay where did Liam just come from, Louis looks up, tears running down his face and his eyes are met with Liam's brown ones.

"You're here? did you hear all of that?" Louis questions.

Zayn answers for Liam, "Yeah mate he was in the kitchen, I tried telling you on the phone but yeah"

Louis is not mad he is just embarrassed and nervous for Liam's reaction.

"So your gay Louis, thats it?" Liam asks. Louis looks back to him slowly nodding his head because yes, Louis you are gay.

Liam brings Louis into a bone crushing hug, and Louis can feel it, that everything is going to be okay, at least with Liam and for some reason that just makes him cry a little bit harder onto Liam's shoulder. Zayn joins in on the hug and him and Liam are both whispering in his ears.

"Its gonna be okay Louis, shh"

"let it out babes, Harry will come around, promise"

"We will make him, he can sort out his own issues without making you feel like your one of them" 

And in that moment things might not be okay but surrounded by two of his best friends Louis feels like things are going to be okay, even if its just for a moment and it feels really really good.

Louis stays there the rest of the day and they even call Niall over and Louis feels good enough about himself that he breaks the news to Niall without a second thought.

"Niall..I'm gay and I can't change that and-"

"Sweet mate" Niall claps Louis on the back.

"You-Your okay with that" Louis asks tentatively.

"Yeah, I've kissed some blokes in my time, it ain't awful just not my preference but hey, if you like a dick in your arse from time to time, who am I to judge ya?"

And although Louis is blushing up to his ears, Niall really, really is just the best.

When Louis gets home later that night his and Harry's flat is still empty which means Harry is still at home and probably still mad at Louis. Things went great over at Zayns and Louis managed to feel okay for basically the entire day, but being here back at the flat is a constant reminder of the fact that things with Harry still are not and might never be okay again.

Louis toes off his Toms by the front door and tosses his beanie down on the couch, he makes his way into the living room and begins to tidy up a bit, which Louis would never normally do but if Harry does decide to return home Louis doesn't want a mess in the living to to be added onto Harry's list of 'reasons to be mad at Louis'.

After Louis collects the crisp bags and empty soda cans from the floor, he vacuums away the crumbs, fold the blankets that Harry bought because "S'makes the room cozier Louis! More like a home than a house Y'know" and Louis never fully understood that, the difference between a home and a house, but standing there, alone in his and Harry's flat Louis gets it now. The flat is not a home when Harrys not here, its quiet and cold and nothing smells like homemade mash or fresh baked cookies, its an empty house without Harry around.

Louis picks up one of the blankets and wraps himself in it plopping down on the couch, flicking through the channels and there is nothing good on the t.v. so he turns it off and shuffles down the hall, passing Harrys room and into his own, grabbing his laptop and sitting on his bed.

Its been a while since Louis spoke to his mom or sisters and Louis just doesn't feel right not telling his mom that he is gay, especially knowing she is the one person who would love him no matter what, he decides to give them a Skype call.

He moves around for a little while trying to get comfortable, rolling from his belly to his back, propping up pillows and leaning on them but nothing feels right tonight. Louis huffs flopping down onto his face before deciding that he's gonna try out Harrys bed, after all its a little bit bigger and Louis is used to sleeping in there anyway.

He collects his blanket and Laptop and moves back down the hallway and into Harry's room. The bed sheets are cold from lack of contact but Louis figured Harry's cold bed is still better than Louis cold one and so he settles down and opens up his laptop and his Skype application, clicking on his moms contact name and listening to the ring.

The call connects and Jays smiling face appears on screen. "Booooobear!!" Louis cringes and rolls his eyes but he can't bring himself to care much that he only asked his mom to stop calling him that like 709039 times already, it just feels good to hear her voice at this point.

"Mum! I miss you so much, how are things"

"Louis darling they are wonderful! I've just put the twins down for bed, Fizzy's out at a sleepover, its just me and Lottie here settling in to watch a movie"

"Hiiiii" Lottie chimes in from behind Jay and god when did she go from a little girl to a teenager covered in makeup???

"Lottie?! Is that you I can hardly recognize you under all that mascara!"

"Oh shut it Louis!, maybe if you visited more often you would know I'm not 9 years old anymore!" Lottie half yells, but Louis can tell she not really mad from the glimmer in her eyes.

"Your right love I do owe you a visit"

"Non sense darling you don't owe anybody anything but I would love to cook you a nice meal if you did happen to stop in sometime soon" Jay says winking her blue eye at Louis. This is the thing Louis loves about his mom, she is always just there ready to pick up where they left off and Louis really really does miss her.

"Ill be sure to stop by soon then" Louis says smiling at her, remembering the news he has for his mom his smile faults and Jay notices, of course she notices.

"Boo whats wrong, that smile hardly reached your eyes?"

"Uh mom, Lots, I kind of have something i wanted to talk to you about, or rather tell you about" Louis says looking down at his finger nails.

"What is it Lou they finally kick your lazy bum out of the band then??" Lottie says, cheeky thing, she gets that from Louis.

"Noooo Lottie, besides those 4 arse's would be nothing without myself!"

"Really Lou, your worrying your mom tell us whats wrong" Jay says.

"Uh okay, well see its just.." Louis pauses taking in a breathe, "Mum, I'm gay"

Theres a moment of silent when Louis starts doubting everything he originally thought when telling his mother. Great he thinks, now she's going to hate me too, just like Harry.

"Well finally!" Lottie laughs out, Lou you act like we didn't already know this.

And okay what.

"Louis I think i have known since you were a wee little thing! Why do you look so down about it love!" Jay says smiling at Louis.

" I guess you do know me better than I know myself and I don't know mom, I guess I was just nervous because Harry isn't taking it so well so I was scared on how you might take it" 

"Harry didn't take it well? What do you mean love" And Jay just looks so worried it does nothing to reassure Louis that things will be okay.

"Well uh- we sort of hum- we well we kissed mum, and I just thought maybe I don't know what I thought, but the next morning Harry left to go back home and he wasn't exactly his nicest to me on his way out" Louis tells the story for the 2nd time that day and it hasn't gotten any easier.

"Oh boo, I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that but it is Harry, maybe he is scared, after all there is no excuse for him treating you poorly but not everyone is as comfortable with themselves as you are love, give him time, he will come around" Jay reassures Louis.

"And please use protection!" Jay throws in and okay Louis is done here and Lottie is gagging on her tongue.

"Okay mum thats enough, thank you it means the world that you and the girls are here for me and I love you Lots but I'm gonna try and get some sleep, I'm exhausted and tired of thinking today"

"Kisses Boo, were always here" Jay and Lottie both lean in to kiss the camera and then the Skype call ends.

Louis falls asleep just like that with his laptop resting on his stomach, cuddled in Harrys bed, surrounded by Harry's scent, and thats exactly how Harry finds him when he returns home later that night.

Harry's P.O.V.

Harry walks into the flat around 2 am that night, still confused but not as mad as he was when he originally left. 

The flats cold and smells like stale chips, but it doesn't look dirty so Harry just shrugs his shoulders and walks down the hallway, stopping in front of Louis bedroom. Back in Holmes Chapel, Harry told Anne everything. Literally everything.

"OH GOD HARRY…You could have left out the specifics darling, I'm glad you came to me but there is some things a mother doesn't ever need to hear"

It had taken Harry an entire day before he emerged from his childhood bed room and told his mom what happened. Harry was confused and he cried and his mom pet his curls down and told him it would all be okay no matter what his sexuality ended up being. She wiped his tears but told him to go back to Lou and apologize. Harry took the rest of the day at his mums to catch up with her, Gemma and Robin and honestly its exactly what Harry needed.

The drive back to his and Louis apartment was long and he had a lot of time to think, he decided that no he still is not gay but Louis might be and that might change things.Not that Harry would ever love Louis any less but its clear Louis felt something for Harry and Harry just isn't sure if he is ready to feel the same things that Louis feels.

So now standing in front of Louis bedroom Harry Knows that he should go in and apologize, but the thing is it would be way easier if Harry just acted like this never happened, if he didn't have to talk about this with Louis at all so he doesn't go in and he doesn't wake Louis up and he doesn't apologize.

Walking into his own room, Harry stops in the doorway upon noticing the laptop resting on top of the giant lump in the middle of his bed. Louis. Harry walks closer to the bed, removing the laptop and gently shutting it to place it down on his nightstand. He looks down at Louis who is sound asleep with his lip pulled in-between his teeth and his long eyelashes casting a shadow onto his cheekbones. He looks stressed and Harry knows its his own fault that there is a sad, lonely boy sleeping in his bed. 

Harry strips down to his boxers and figures if he is gonna pretend like nothing ever happened he may as well start now. Pulling back the covers and scooting as close to Louis as he possibly can, grabbing the smaller boy by the middle of his stomach and turning him over onto his side so that Harry could press himself up against Louis back, big spoon. Louis eyes flutter when he realizes he isn't alone anymore.

"Harry? S'that you?" Louis speaks without opening his eyes.

"Who else lou?" Harry mumbles into Louis soft hair, and wow he really missed this, its only been a few days since he last cuddled with Louis but between the fighting and ignoring it feels like much longer.

"M'sorry" Louis speaks again, and no Louis shouldn't be the one apologizing so Harry just shushes him and pulls him in closer.

"Me too, now sleep I'm tired" Harry says, but Louis is already asleep again, so Harry is actually talking to himself. He closes his eyes and he is at peace again for the first time in three days and he falls asleep with his arms around Louis.

Louis P.O.V

When Louis wakes up, he's sweating his arse off and he's wrapped in large very very warm arms. Very warm arms which he was not surrounded by when he fell asleep, turning himself over he comes face to face with a sleeping Harry, curls pressed to his forehead with red flushed cheeks, he looks so pretty like this.

Louis breathes a sigh of relief, if Harry came home last night and got into bed with him, he couldn't possibly still be mad and maybe now they can finally sit down and talk about this.

Thinking about what Louis mom had told him he decided he wants to sit Harry down, tell him that yes he is gay and that its okay if Harry didn't enjoy the other night buts its also okay if he did and that Louis will be here with him no matter what he decides or thinks. If Harry really is confused like Jay seems to think Louis wants to make sure he knows that Louis will be there for him even though Harry hasn't been here for Louis the past few days.

Wiggling out of Harrys grasp, Louis heads into the kitchen to begin breakfast, this is usually Harrys job since he is usually awake first and actually knows how to cook but whatever here goes nothing. How hard could this be anyway?

Apparently much harder than Louis thought because he is trying to pick eggshells out of the scrambled eggs, he keeps burning his finger tips and the beeper for the muffins Louis stuck in the oven to reheat has been going off for about a minute to long when Harry comes scrambling into the kitchen.

"Louis what is going on!" Harry calls while removing the burnt muffins from the oven.

"I was trying to start breakfast! You always cook and I'm always useless so i was just attempting something new Harold"

"Well i think you've done more damage then good" Harry chuckles, "Here let me help you" Harry removes the pan from Louis Hands, dumps the shell filled eggs in the trash and starts from the beginning, showing Louis the proper was to crack an egg into a pan minus all the shells. Louis kind of gets the hang of it and even when he doesn't Harry is there to pick out the shells.

"Lou I think your on your way to becoming a proper chef now but in the meantime why don't you sit on a stool and let me take over" Harry winks at Louis and no, no, no no, Louis heart did not literally melt in his chest and he is not making heart eyes at Harry, he's just not.

"You know what Harold, I am gonna sit down but not because you told me to but because I'm just really lazy and would much prefer to have my breakfast taste good"

"You got the lazy part right Lewis!"

"Its Lou-eee to you! And you did not even comment on the fact that I cleaned up the living room, I think that deserves praise so that maybe just maybe it will happen again one day" Louis teases, "Should be kissing my toes or something I reckon"

Harry walks over to Louis with two plates and two cups of tea on a small tray and places them in front of Louis on the table and dropping to his knees in front of Louis, which wow who would have known Harry looked so good from this angle and Louis is most certainly not thinking dirty thoughts especially about things that led him and the boy on his knees to have argued about not even days ago!

Harry then picks up Louis foot and leans in to kiss his toes while praising Louis, "My dearest lewis, how ever will I repay you for cleaning up after yourself like any normal human living without their mums have to do, say the word and ill do it lou"

The playful bantering is over quick when Louis decides to reply to Harry's obvious rhetorical question with an actual answer, "welllll" Louis draws out, "You could come up here and talk to me about why you left me here to have to do everything on my own in the first place"

Harry looks up at Louis unamused expression on his face, "Or we could just enjoy our breakfast and the fact that I'm back" Harry says, getting up off the floor and sitting down next to Louis.

They eat in silence, forks clanking on plates and sipping their tea. Louis cleans up because "C'mon Lou the cook shouldn't have to clean every time" and Louis argument of "Well technically the cook DID make the mess" was invalid because here Louis is cleaning up the two of their plates while Harry stretches up to crack his back and go off to take a shower.

Louis could just let it all go and pretend nothing ever happened, since that is what Harry clearly insists on doing, but Louis knows himself and Louis knows he has to say something to Harry. He has to tell him how he feels and ask him why Anne said he was upset and why he left Louis. It just is not fair, so as soon as Harrys finished his shower Louis is going to say something, he swears even if Harry screams and yells Louis will just have to yell a little bit louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did not think my 'fluff' would be worse than my smut but idk guys that may have been pretty awful!  
> Also i updated 2 days in a row but that probably won't be the case most of the times because i do go to school 4 days a week and work and college aint easy! but i will probably end up updating on fridays or weekends!
> 
> And i still need a grammar police! please help ahah
> 
> Chapter title is Best Mistake -Ariana Grande ft. Big Sean
> 
> @LouisBottomHalf
> 
> Follow my twitter I follow back and tweet me what you guys think so far!
> 
> Comment and leave Kudos please!
> 
> -Nelly


	3. Sleep with my thoughts, dance with my views

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirty things ensue and Harry and Louis were ALMOST okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably warn you guys when things are gonna get dirty so consider this a warning;)
> 
> Also its reallllly sucky and discouraging when I write and get no feedback on anything! Makes me feel like I'm writing a story for myself and not other humans 
> 
> soo please comment or tweet me or leave kudos or tell me if its awful! anything
> 
> @LouisBottomHalf

Harrys P.O.V.

The hot water hitting Harry in the back feels so good, he rolls his shoulders back letting the water rinse the soap off his skin pulled tight over his back muscles. He has been so stressed out for the past week a nice drink or maybe ten would be amazing. I'll call up Niall right after this shower Harry thinks to himself as he lathers up his dark curls with strawberry scented shampoo, kids always down to go out.

Harry rinses his hair out trying to think of ways to spend his afternoon in the most relaxed state as possible, the thing is its like a viscous cycle, Harry is confused which makes him stressed, which makes it to hard to think straight or clear his mind, which usually leads to more stress and right now Harrys mind and muscles are in definite need of some relaxation.

Inside Harry's mind is a mess, he is constantly thinking back to that night and back to the things he felt while he was kissing Louis and getting Louis off. The thing is Harry has never thought about boys in that way before and just because things felt right with Louis doesn't mean they would feel right with any other boy, there for Harry is not gay, thats what Harrys logic is telling him anyway. 

Harry steps out of the shower and towel drys his body before wrapping his hair up in the towel, he glances at himself in the mirror and the thoughts of his and Louis sexual encounter have him sporting a nice semi and okay as nice as a wank would be right now he does not want to touch himself to the thoughts of his best friend..again.

Harry walks into his bedroom fully nude except for the towel in his hair, when he hears a squeak and a slapping noise. Harry turns around to find none other than Louis in his bedroom..making his bed? What the actual fuck.

Louis is standing there next to Harrys bed with his hand smacked over his eyes and a blush up his cheeks all the way to his ears. "Louis!" Harry shrieks while grabbing for something, anything to cover his exposed half hard penis and I mean really this is just Harrys luck.

Mortified Louis uses his free hand to toss Harry a pillow to cover himself with and once Harry has done so he finally speaks again. "Louis, take your hand off your eyes s'covered"

Louis slowly does as he is told, biting the inside of his cheek and setting his gaze down towards the rug beneath his toes, he begins to apologize.

"Harry..I swear I was just in here to make the bed, figured I would do something nice since you basically saved breakfast, I'm so sorry" Louis doesn't even wait for Harrys response before he is heading out the door and shutting it behind him.

Harry groans and throws himself down onto his bed, this is all is all so wrong. On any normal day had Louis caught Harry walking around starkers he probably would laughed about it cracking some joke about how Harry actually belongs in the jungle, swinging from vines where it's socially acceptable to have his wild curls raging and live life in the nude. But this time that isn't the case, Louis is embarrassed and apologising and Harry feels bad. Harry knows that as hard as him and Louis try things just aren't normal right and neither of them know how to make things right again.

Slipping on a pair of boxers and sweats, Harry shakes out his hair and decides maybe it is time to talk to Louis about all this and fix whatever happened between the two boys. The situation which just took place in Harrys room was enough to distract his mind for a moment and allowed for his dick to go soft so once he is dressed he moves down the hall and walks straight into Louis room without knocking.

And wow okay maybe they should start some new rule of knocking before entering or locking their bedroom doors because walking into rooms at the wrong moment is seemingly becoming an awful pattern in this house.

Harry knows he should move, move or run or say or something but he can't, his body is frozen in place and he cannot move. The thing is Harry just walked in on Louis, fully naked and flushed and naked and laying on his bed and naked and Louis is fully hard and stroking his dick lazily with his hand while the other arm is laying over his eyes. Louis has no idea Harry is in the room right now Harry could easily turn around and leave and pretend this never happened, that he didn't just walk in on Louis stroking himself, fully hard all probably because he just witnessed Harry half hard and fully naked moments ago.

All reasonable thinking goes straight out the door when Louis, starts to pick up the pace with his hand and when he lets out a little whiney moan Harrys dick twitches in response. Harry moves further into the room and thats when Louis hears him and stops what he's doing, not removing the arm thats covering his eyes, Louis acknowledges Harrys presence.

"Harrry..?" Louis speaks and wow that was definitely the hottest thing Harry has ever heard because although Louis probably meant to say Harrys name with a questioning tone, it came out sounding more desperate and wrecked than anything.

Harry still can't move and his dick is now fully hard in his pants.

"Harry please tell me you are not standing in my room and please tell me whatever the noise I just heard was, was anything but you walking in on me like this"

Harry advances over to Louis bed and Louis is removing the Hand away from his eyes and Harry is now met with Louis blue eyes. Louis moans and turns his head away from Harry in response.

 

Louis P.O.V.

5 minutes earlier:

Louis finished washing the dishes and decided to be a good flat mate and go on into Harrys room to help make the bed that he slept in. Louis is seriously regretting his decision on becoming a good flat mate today of all days because he is currently standing face to penis or face to face or whatever you wanna call it with Harrys naked body. Harrys naked, still kind of wet, naked, Half hard? did Louis mention naked? body.

Louis squeaks and slaps a hand over his eyes as quickly as he could.

"Louis!" Harry shrieks, Louis pats his free hand onto the bed and when he finds a pillow he picks it up and throws it in Harrys direction. He keeps his eyes covered until Harry gives him the okay.

"Louis, take your hand off your eyes s'covered" Harrys says, and really Louis is more embarrassed than anything right now and he is sending a prayer up to the gods that Harry doesn't notice the boner that rose at the sight of Harrys semi. I mean Louis is only human and Harry is wow a lot bigger than Louis was expecting. What boy comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his hair and not his waist anyway??

Clearly Harry isn't gonna say anything so Louis decides now would be a good time to speak, "Harry..I swear I was just in here to make the bed, figured I would do something nice since you basically saved breakfast, I'm so sorry"

Harry just stares at Louis, so Louis moves quickly out the door and down the hall into his bedroom shutting his door behind him. Louis is so hard it's actually painful and its not his fault Harry has the dick of some type of god and its not Louis fault he hasn't had a proper wank in days and so Louis shucks his pants off and lays across the middle of his bed with one arm over his eyes, head tipped back and the other wrapped around his dick.

He can't help but compare the way his small hands feel in comparison to the way Harrys big rough hands felt and its only making him that much harder, that much more desperate to come.

Louis working his hand faster now and he knows he is so close, thoughts of Harry above him in his mind, Louis moans and then he stops, he stops moving his hand and he listens because he knows what the patter of feet sound like on his wood floors and he knows he just heard that exact noise and he knows Harry is the only other person in the flat at the moment.

"Harrry..?" Louis speaks and fuck that was not supposed to come out sounding like that.

Louis doesn't hear a response and in the case that Harry actually is in the room right now Louis is far to embarrassed to remove his arm away from his eyes.

"Harry please tell me you are not standing in my room and please tell me whatever the noise I just heard was, was anything but you walking in on me like this"

Louis hears the footsteps again and decides to finally move his arm away from his face and there Harry is standing next to Louis bed, cheeks flushed and pupils blown. Louis is speechless and apparently so is Harry because he still has not said a word.

Louis takes a moment to realize that Harry is hard like, he must be really really hard because there is a wet spot on his sweats from where is dick is leaking pre come and the thing is Louis is so horny and can't even take his hand off his dick long enough to cover himself up and instead he just turns his head away from Harry accidentally letting out a small moan in the process.

Harry finally speaks and what, Louis definitely thinks he heard him wrong.

"Louis please" Harry asks desperately.

Please what? "Please what" Louis responds, slightly confused because what is Harry trying to ask him right now.

"Please uh..like please say the er the word" Harry mumbles.

Louis is confused and really has no idea what Harry is on about when Harry reminds him like he was reading Louis mind.

"Go, Louis, please say go" And okay Louis knows exactly what Harry is talking about, because go is the last thing that Louis said before him and Harry started to kiss the second time. Louis doesn't know if he wants to say it. He is so so hard and he was so close to coming before Harry interrupted him and given he was wanking to thoughts of Harry, having Harry finish him off right now would be something out of a dream, but there is always a but because what happens when Harry decides he is straight again and leaves after.

"Harry" Louis whines desperate to finish, he decides he will deal with whatever bullshit Harry pulls after because right now all Louis brain is fogged with is Harry Harry Harry.

"Go" Louis says and it barely is Louder than a whisper and he is not even sure that Harry really heard him that is until Harry is knocking Louis hand away from his own dick and then Louis is sure he did.

Harry nudges Louis chin with his nose and when Louis tilts his head up Harry begins to leave love bites on Louis neck, right on top of the fading bruises from last time. Louis was already so close when Harry interrupted him and now that Harry is sending chills throughout Louis entire body and pumping Louis cock, Louis seconds away form coming.

Harrys hand is so much bigger than Louis and Louis dick so little in Harrys hand compared to the way it looks in Louis, the slide of Louis skin against Harrys palm is rough and dry and Harry must notice because he pulls his hand off before spitting into his palm and then going back to work on Louis dick.

"Harry, m' close, ah m' gonna come" Louis decides to warn Harry this time but Harry is quick to pull his hand off of Louis dick and great Louis thinks if Harry didn't hop in bed to get him off then what the actual fuck.

Louis is broken from his thoughts when Harry is rolling himself onto his back grabbing Louis by the waist and bringing him on top of Harry so that Louis thighs are straddling Harrys.

"Not yet baby, were gonna come together" Harry breathes out against Louis ear as he's pulling him in again crashing their mouths together.

Louis moans at the pet name and his dick jumps at the sound of Harrys voice, which is ten times deeper than normal right now. Harry picks up his hips a little bit pushing down his pants and his boxers all at once, Louis adjusts to help Harry remove his clothes and once Louis is settled back down on top of Harry their dicks coming in contact they both moan in response. Louis begins licking Harrys chest, and nipples leaving wet trails all over his skin, then blowing cool air over them, making Harry shiver and moan in response.

Louis loves this loves having Harry coming undone under his touch and when he grabs Harrys dick with his small fists and begins to pump he has Harry calling out his name over and over again.

"F-fuck Lou, your hands feel so good ah" Harrys mouth falls open and Louis takes it as in invitation to lean down and press his tongue in, Harry follows Louis lead and now has his hands on Louis hips, rotating them in small circles, making the grind of their two hard cocks so much more intense.

Both boys are desperate to come now but its not enough, Louis isn't sure if he will regret this later but right now he doesn't care.

"Yeah Harry, want to see if my mouth feels as good as my hands?" 

Harry bucks his hips up, his dick trapped in between his and Louis stomach, "Please Lou, want you"

Louis doesn't waste much time before he's trailing kisses and love bites down Harrys torso, he swings his leg over Harrys side so that he is positioned on his hands and knees perpendicular to Harrys body. He gives Harrys tip a teasing lick earning him a moan from the younger boy before taking Harry down as far as he can using his fist to grab whatever his mouth can't reach.

"Looouis" Harry whines while Louis is pumping his mouth over Harrys length, Harry uses his hand that is on the same side of his body that Louis is sitting to grab a handful of Louis ass.

Louis hums out in response while Harrys dick is still down his throat, the vibrations causing Harry to buck his hips, sending his leaking dick further down Louis tight hot throat.

Harry is neading Louis ass pulling him Louis closer to his own body.

"Fuck Lou you look so good like this, your fucking thighs ugh" Harry is moaning and leaning up to nibble a love bite into Louis thigh.

Louis loves this, he loves the weight of Harrys length on his tongue and he loves that Harry is actually talking this time, actually enjoying himself. Louis gets an idea, he has seen it in porn but he has never actually done this before and he isn't sure if its to soon to try something like this, considering neither of the two boys really know what they are doing, but Louis decides fuck it and he asks Harry to fuck his thighs anyway.

"Fuck them Harry, want you to fuck my thighs"

Harry face flushes in response before he is sitting up and and cupping Louis face in his hands. He kisses Louis lips, licking the bottom one asking for permission to enter, which Louis thinks is silly considering his dick was just in their but he allows Harry entrance anyway. If Harry can taste himself on Louis tongue, he doesn't seem to mind and Louis little swollen lips are tingling and he's becoming needy at the loss of contact wight he rest of their bodies. Louis makes a whiny noise in the back of his throat, inching forward pressing his front to Harrys. Harry moans before pulling his lips away, "So desperate for it Lou, s'hot" Harry grabs Louis by the hips moving him so that Louis is laying flat on his back.

"Lou what are you doing to me" Harry speaks again before kissing Louis lips, moving so that he is in between Louis spread legs.

Its now Harrys turn to leave a trail of kisses down Louis front before Harry begins kissing and licking Louis thighs, slicking them up so that his dick will slide easily in between and Louis is almost crying he is so desperate to come now and Harrys plump lips feel so good, so hot against his skin.

Harry must think that Louis legs are slicked enough because he then moves to put both of Louis ankles over one of his shoulders. He inches his body closer to that his dick is nudging in between Louis thighs. Louis clamps his legs shut as tight as possible for Harry and when Harry pushes his dick in between Louis strong little thighs he knows he isn't going to last long.

Harry Looks so good above Louis thrusting fast and Hard,lip caught in between his teeth. The tip of his dick keeps poking out of the other side of louis thighs and Louis can see that Harry is leaking so much pre come making the slick of his dick on Louis skin so much wetter. Louis dick is so full, red and hard on laying untouched on his own stomach.

"Touch yourself Lou" Harrys says when he notices Louis dick, Harrys hands are busy holding onto Louis thighs and once Louis gets a hand on himself he is moaning out Harrys name.

Both boys are sweating and panting, Harry thrusts becoming sloppy as he is reaching almost reaching.

Louis comes into his own fist and all over his belly with Harrys name leaving his lips moments before Harry shoots his load all over Louis thighs, come dripping down them painting his tanned skin sticky and white.

Louis drops his legs from Harrys shoulder and Harry flops down on top of Louis sticky body. Harry places a kiss to Louis chest and Louis heart jumps in response. The kiss was so sweet and so unexpected but then Harry is getting up off the bed, still breathing heavy and making his way out to the hallway.

Louis face drops in disappointment, not that he didn't expect Harry to leave but fuck, that was so much more intense than the first time and Louis is just sad and hurt.

Louis sits up about to get of bed to clean himself off when Harry walks back into the room with a wet flannel in his hand, "Lay back down" he instructs and Louis does as he is told.

Harry wipes off Louis thighs and Louis stomach gently and then tosses it into Louis hamper. He crawls back into bed behind Louis and wraps his hands around Louis middle. 

"Nap time now" Harry mumbles into Louis skin right in between his shoulder blades.

Louis' shocked and happy, he feels warm and safe in Harrys arms and although this is not what he was planning for this morning he is defiantly okay with the way things have turned out.

"Thank you Harry" Louis breathes out before closing his eyes,

"For what Lou, you don't have to thank me for se-"

"For staying, thank you for staying even if you really just would rather leave right now" Louis corrects, Harry is silent and Louis doesn't know what he is thinking and Louis doesn't get a response from Harry before the two boys fall asleep in each others arms.

When Louis wakes up, its to the smell of burgers cooking in the kitchen. He sits up in bed and reaches for his boxers that he left thrown on the floor, getting up and sliding them on followed by one of Harry's hoodies he left in Louis room Louis makes his way into the kitchen following the scent.

He's greeted by the sight of Harry, his wild curls pushed backwards, skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with a pair of new boots on. He looks so incredibly good and so much older when he dresses like this Louis loves it so much.

"Someone looks rather dressed up" Louis says, popping his 'p', surprising Harry.

Harry jumps, eyes wide when he looks up at Louis.

"Jesus Lou, you scared me, thought you'd never wakeup"

"What can I say, someone drained me off all my energy young Harold" Louis teases and Harry blushes.

"Don't call me that Lou" He pauses "I made burgers, I'm going out with Niall tonight so wanted to have a solid meal in me"

Louis smile faulters, its not like he expected Harry to spend the entire night with him, no he just was maybe hoping that he would want to.

"Sounds fun! going with Niall though your bound to get trashed, burger or not babe!"

"Yeaaaaah" Harry draws out, "Well your obviously welcome to like come if you want" He adds.

As tempting as it sounds, considering the fact that Harry is extra cuddly when he is drunk, Louis just is not in the mood to be out at a crowded bar with a bunch of blokes he doesn't know.

"Nah, think ill just stay in, maybe smoke with Zayn if he isn't to busy" Louis decides.

"Kaay well I'm about to head over there, eat up , don't wait up for me" Harry says as he is grabbing his keys and heading out of the kitchen.

Its fine Louis thinks, He had a good afternoon with Harry and if Harry wants the night to himself who is Louis to stop him. Oh shit, there may be one problem. Louis never Harry actually got to talk to Harry about what was going on which means Harry has no idea that the other boys know and Louis has no idea if Harry even wanted them to know. He should say something before Harry finds out through one of them and thinks Louis was keeping secrets.

"Harry wait!" Louis calls.

Harry stops, turning on his boot back into the kitchen.

"Whatsup Lou" He asks, and okay why is Louis so nervous to tell Harry that the boys know.

"Oh okay well umm, so we never got to actually talk abo-"

"No Lou, we never did because I don't want to and I still don't want to right now, especially when I am about to leave the house to go out" Harry interrupts.

Louis getting annoyed, first of all he wasn't going to ask Harry to talk but even if he was who is Harry to be so selfish, he is not the only one in this and what if Louis wants to talk? Does that not even matter?

"Oh trust me Harry, I Know you don't want to talk, you tell me every five minutes, but believe it or not when you left me here alone for a few days I actually did want to talk, I needed to talk because I was going insane in my own head, not that you would know because you clearly have not taken even a moment to think about how I might be feeling, but thats besides the point, I was just trying to warn you that the boys know, I needed someone to ta-" Louis is interrupted by Harry again.

"The boys know what Louis" Harry growls at Louis, knowing exactly what Louis is talking about.

Louis has never been scared of Harry before but right now Harry looks like he could kill Louis and its not exactly a very settling look to have upon yourself.

Louis backs up from Harry a couple of steps before answering, "They know about what happened the night, after the boys left, before we went to bed"

"You've got to be fucking kidding me" Harry groans, running his hands down his face and then up through his hair, he doesn't seem as mad anymore, more stressed about it all than anything.

"Why on earth would you go and tell them…" Harry questions.

Louis is upset, all this has been so much on him and he already explained to Harry that he had to talk to someone, that everything was to much for him to handle on his own, him and Harry just made up and now Harry is going to be bad at him again, he begins to cry.

"I -I had to tell someone Harry! It wasn't fair to me, I wouldn't have told anyone but you left me here with no one to talk to, if you just would have stayed if you just would have spoken to me for five minutes!" Louis explains, tears streaming down his face.

Harry steps in and wraps his arms around Louis, Louis doesn't move though he keeps his arms dangling at his own sides while Harry holds him close.

"Lou please, I hate seeing you cry like this" Louis looks up to see Harry's face which looks almost emotionless, Louis goes to speak but then Harry begins again.

"Its not right of you to go on and tell everyone our business, I don't even want to talk to you about it now I have to worry about everyone else"

Louis pushes Harry away from him, now he's fuming, tears are coming down harder and he can't stop them, he is so upset and so frustrated with Harry, the Harry who Louis knows would never treat Louis this way"

"Fuck you Harry! Leave, go out with Niall, I can't believe how selfish your being, I'm sitting here telling you how much I needed you when you left me and here you are ignoring everything I'm saying and only hearing the fact that I let out your little secret, you know what Harry I hope they ask you about it and I hope you learn to deal with it, they are our best friends for christ sakes"

"Loui-" Harry try's to cut in but Louis is not having it, he needs to get this out and he needs to do it now.

"NO, no Harry, I'm gay, and you might not be okay with that, but all the boys were and you know how scared I was to tell them? I hated myself Harry! I sat on the floor and cried and I wanted to disappear and I needed somebody, I needed you there with me, but you weren't there so I went to the next best thing because I felt alone and upset, so sorry if my actions have burdened your life"

Louis is standing there face red, chest heaving and tears still falling from his eyes, he furiously try's to wipe them away and when he looks to Harry he is just standing there jaw slack with nothing to say.

"Exactly" Louis mumbles before running down the hall, slamming and locking his bedroom door behind him.

Harry follows after him turning the knob to Louis door and seeing that it's locked, he begins to knock.

"C'mon Lou, open the door" Harry asks.

"Just leave Harry!" Louis croaks out, voice raspy from yelling so much.

"No Louis now open the fucking door!" 

Louis doesn't answer he is sitting on the floor with his back against the door, Harry doesn't knock again and when Louis hears his boots walking back down the hallway he breathes a sigh of relief.

Then the steps come back and Harry knocks on the door one more time.

"Louis i have a glass of water for you open the door please"

Louis thinks about it and water would be fabulous right now but he is sick of giving into Harry, of crawling back to him after he hurts his feelings every single time.

"Boo, please" Harrys says through the door, and Louis loses it again at the nickname, tears fall from Louis eyes again, but he stands up and opens the door.

Harry looks surprised but then his face falters and his lips pull back into a tight line. He reaches out and hands Louis the water without saying a word. Louis takes the water mumbles a thank you and then goes to close the door again. The door is halfway shut when harry decides to finally speak.

"I don't care, Louis" 

Louis catches the door and waits a moment for Harry to continue, he doesn't but of course Louis already knew Harry didn't care, he has made that so obvious it actually hurts.

"I already know Harry" Louis says, question in his voice.

"No, I mean I don't care if your gay" Louis freezes. Harry has been acting like being gay is a fate worse then death, he has been walking around reminding Louis that he is 'definitely not gay' the past two days, how could he not care that Louis is gay, if he cares so himself much if he is.

"How" Louis asks.

Harry pushes the door open all the way when his phone starts ringing in his pocket, he answers it and Louis can faintly hear Niall's voice coming through the phone.

"Relax mate ill be there in a few minutes, Im just about to leave" Harry speaks into the line before hanging up and stepping into the room.

He tilts louis chin up so that Louis is looking into his eyes, "I don't care if you are gay Louis Tomlinson, it doesn't change a thing, okay?" 

"Okay" Louis answers in a whisper. Harry kisses the top of Louis head, "Don't wait up" he reminds Louis before turning around and leaving the flat.

Louis sighs running to grab his cell phone, if he thought he needed a blunt before, he now needs one probably 50 times more. He dials Zayn's number as fast as his fingers will let him.

"louuuuuu" Zayn answers.

"Zayn. My house blunt. Now." 

"Woah you mean business here Lou, you okay?"

"Harry" Is all Louis responds before Zayn is shuffling around on the other end of the line.

"Oh shit, okay Lou I'm coming now!" 

"Doors open" Louis mumbles before hanging up tossing his phone and throwing himself face first onto his bed burying his head in a mound of pillows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh okay a lot happened there!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, comment and leave Kudos please!
> 
> It would help a lot if i had some input from the people who are actually reading this haha!
> 
> Chapter title is U.N.I. By Ed Sheeran
> 
> @LouisBottomHalf
> 
> -Penelope


	4. Your eyes, your lips, your mouth Your thighs, your back, you drive me wild.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He pulls the covers back over Louis and heads out into the kitchen deciding that when the blue eyed boy wakes up, Harry is finally going to sit down with Louis and tell him exactly how he is feeling, how he felt when he was with Mandy, how he might be gay or just gay for Louis, everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda short! but I did update 4 days in a row soooo deal ;P
> 
> Warning for dirty activities.
> 
> @LouisBottomHalf
> 
> -Penelope

Louis P.O.V. 

Zayn gets there and him and Louis spend some time rolling their blunt in silence. Zayn knows that Louis wants to talk about whatever happened but he needs time, time to think about what happened in his own mind.

Louis takes a hit of the blunt holding the smoke in his mouth for a couple of moments before releasing it into the air around him and Zayn, he repeats his actions again before passing Zayn the weed. He waits until Zayn has taken his first hit before he speaks.

"So obviously Harry came home" Louis begins, Zayn nods his head to encourage Louis to keep talking.

"And he basically walked in on me, wanking.." Zayn cringes but doesn't interrupt, allowing Louis to continue.

"…after having just seen Harry completely naked coming out of his shower. So one thing led to another and we he wound up getting me off again, except this time he got off too" Louis says.

Zayn looks up at him with wide eyes, passing him the blunt and talking while Louis takes his hits.

"Good mate! So you two are settled then.." Zayn asks.

"Well no not quite, so we were basically fine after which was a step better than the first time, we were fine up until I told him that you boys knew about what was going on and then he freaked out on me, I think i held my ground well and he ended up telling me that he was okay with me being gay even though he wasn't" Louis finishes.

"Okay mate now I'm confused, isn't that what you wanted..for him to be okay with all this?"

"Yeah but I want him to act as okay with it as he says he is, like he says he doesn't mind me being gay but the mere mention of the possibility that he is too, he acts like he might of caught some wretched disease Zayn!" Louis throws his hands up frustrated.

"Listen Lou I know it must be hard but really he has to be okay with all this wether he wants to admit it or not I mean, the first time okay he was experimenting, a second time? a third time? he's coming back for more because he wants to, because he likes it Lou, he likes you and the way you make him feel" Louis scrunches up his face at hearing the words come from Zayn's mouth, but he is right, Louis isn't forcing Harry to do anything, if he wasn't okay with it he would stop.

Louis feels relieved after him and Zayn's talk, like always. They are both high as kites and spend the night playing FIFA and bantering before Zayn realized the time and decides he should probably head out. Louis looks at the clock and realizes its after 2 am and agrees.

He walks Zayn out and then heads into his room, checking his phone he has no texts. Louis wonders where Harry is, what he is up to when he hears the flat door open and close. He can hear whispering voices and a giggle and as cute as Harrys giggle is Louis knows the one he heard was far to girly and cute to be Harrys.

Louis doesn't leave his bed, he just strains his ear to hear who is in his flat.

"Shhh Sh SH, you'll wake him" Louis hears Harrys attempt at whispering which really ended up being a hushed shout.

Louis hears the girl giggle again and his heart sinks in his chest, he hears her let out a little shout and then the noise of her high heels clicking on the floor are silenced, but Harrys boots are heightened. Louis knows Harry must have picked her up and is now carrying her to their destination, Harrys bedroom .

Moments pass by before Louis hears anything again but when he does its the moans and the grunting of Harry and said girl echoing through the walls. 

Louis is crushed, him and Harry weren't anything but how could he just bring a random girl back to the flat after everything that has happened? For christ sake his hands that had gotten Louis off hours earlier are currently all over some random girl.

Tears are falling from his yes and thats all he feels like he does anymore, cry over Harry and he hates it so much. Louis rolls over and falls asleep with with a pillow covering his head, his blankets yanked up his body further to try and silence the moans.

Harrys P.O.V.

Harrys licking small stripes onto Mandy's thighs, her back arching under his touch and her breathy moans filling the room. He moves in and licks a stripe straight over her clot eliciting a porn star like moan from her mouth. Harry is so hard in his boxers but he ignores his aching cock and continues to lick her out, far buried in between her to thin legs.

She tangles her hands in Harrys curls and he lets out a moan, vibrating against her sensitive center and earning Harry a moan from her in return. Harry loves this and he is sure of that, he is not grossed out by vaginas and he loves having a girl in his bed, all delicate features and high pitched moans.

Harry is sliding a condom onto his hard dick and pressing his length into Mandy's heat, her legs wrapped around his back and his elbows resting next to her head, holding himself up. He bottoms out inside of her, and pauses for a moment allowing her to adjust to his length. 

He takes that moment to look up from her body and into her eyes, there blue just like Louis, but then again they are not. Louis eyes are so bright and even when they are dark with lust they are still so breath taking, and here looking into Mandy's dull blue lifeless eyes Harry realizes that this just doesn't feel right. 

Its not that Harry isn't into girls because he was honestly enjoying himself before he started comparing everything she was doing to the way Louis does things. Her small hands felt nice on his length but they were to soft and not Louis, and her thighs were delicious under Harrys tongue but not as full or juicy as Louis had felt.

Mandy, growing impatient begins to roll her hips, moving herself along Harrys length. Harry snaps out of his mind and begins to thrust into her, her small moans filing Harrys ears but they just don't sound right, they don't sound like Louis whiney needy ones that Harry has come to love in such a short time, he can't take it anymore so he leans forward connecting their lips to stifle her sounds which just leads him to compare her lips to Louis and Harry has to finish now because he can't take this anymore.

He thrusts harder and faster until both of them are reaching their highs, Harry pulls out, removing the condom from his softening dick, typing it in a knot and tossing it into his garbage can. He gets up tossing the girl who is looking at him with a confused look on her face, Harry tosses her a shirt and heads into the bathroom to take a piss.

When he returns into his bedroom the girl is sitting cross legged on his bed staring at him, "What" he asks.

"You- did.. did you just moan 'Louis' while you were coming into me?" she asks, almost dumb founded.

Uh Harrys is wracking his brain trying to remember the events from moments ago, its just he is still buzzed from all the drinks and he knows he was thinking about Louis but he cant remember moaning his name at all.

"Uh.. erm no.." He answers to her. Mandy doesn't believe him knowing what she heard she gets up off the bed and moves toward Harry, "No, i think you definitely did, considering 'Mandy' and 'Louis' sound nothing alike I think I would know the difference" 

And okay fuck so maybe Harry did moan out LOuis name and that is just really really embarrassing and Harry really has no answer to that at all. Instead of answering he just moves towards his door and calls back over his shoulder to her, "Okay well I'm gonna call you a cab now"

Disgusted Mandy grabs her high heels and storms into the hallway right past Harry.

"Oh well thank you, what a fucking gentleman you are!" she screams. 

"SHHH would you lower your bloody voice, we are not the only two people in this flat" Harry snaps back at her.

"Ohh righht" Mandy says, throwing a hand in the air, "I forgot about Louis, how on earth could I forgot about Louis, clearly he is on your mind" She snaps at Harry. Harry hears movement from being Louis closed bedroom door and he is sure that Louis can Hear everything that has been going on.

Mortified Harry takes Mandy by her wrist and drags her out of the flat to wait with her for her cab.

When he comes back into the flat, he bumps into Louis in the hallway who was making his way back from the kitchen, bags under his red eyes and a cuppa in his hands.

"I-" Harry begins but Louis brings his hand over Harrys mouth to shush him before quickly pulling it off and wiping it on his pants, obviously remembering where Harrys mouth had been minutes ago.

"I really am just not in the mood, and would prefer to go to sleep now that it is half past 3 in the morning, thanks" Louis says before walking past Harry and into his room shutting the door behind him.

Harry feels empty and he just wants to hold Louis right now, he feels confused and lost and he has no idea if he just enjoyed sex with a girl because his mind was clouded with LouisLouisLouis the entire time. He needs his best friend, right now so he follows Louis into bedroom.

"Louis please just let me lay with you tonight" Harry quickly speaks before Louis can cut him off again.

"Your kidding" Louis says turning over in his bed to look at Harry, he doesn't look and but he looks defeated.

"You really are asking me to spend the night in my room after what I just listened to through the walls for oh I don't know an hour?!" Louis asks amazed that Harry had the indecency to even ask him.

"I- I just need you right now Lou" Harry whimpers, hoping Louis will say yes even if it means Louis pitying him, he just needs Louis arms wrapped around his body.

Louis looks like he is about to say yes before something flashes in his eyes, "Where were you when I needed you Harry?" Louis voice is breaking and Harry can tell he is about to cry, and Harry can't he just can't see Louis cry again, over him again, not tonight.

Harry turns to walk out of the room when he hears Louis speak again,"Take a shower first Harry then sleep where ever you want."

Harry can't help the grin that takes up his face at Louis giving in, he nods his head and quickly runs into the shower rinsing himself off before throwing on a pair of boxers and climbing into Louis bed.

"Thank you Louis" Harry breathes out as he settles himself into Louis side.

"Yup" Louis says, intertwining his feet with Harrys, "Goodnight Harry"

"Night Lou" Harry answers before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Harry wakes up the next morning, thoughts of last night flooding into his mind, drinks with Niall, the girl from the bar, Mandy was it? Moaning Louis name, Louis being mad at Harry… again. Speak of, Harry is currently pressed against the older boys back, hard on placed up against his plump arse and Harry can't help but press forward just a little but to receive some friction.

Louis is asleep but moans at the contact of Harrys hard dick against his ass through the thin material of their boxers. Harry pulls Louis in closer by his stomach and he begins to wake up now.

"Harry" Louis speaks, and his voice is all raspy from sleep and he sounds so good and Harry just can't help himself. He begins to kiss in between Louis shoulder and neck, earning a moan from the shivering boy in his arms.

Louis turns his body around so that he is facing Harry now and shoves a leg in between Harrys. Harry can feel that Louis is hard too.

"Lou" Harry whispers into Louis mouth, before moving forward and pressing their lips together. Desperate for release the two boys begin rutting against each other thighs. 

Louis pulls his mouth off of Harrys and has his arms wrapped around Harrys neck, forehead pressed together, he pants hot air against Harrys face.

They have barely made any skin to skin contact but Harry is so much harder than he was when he was having sex with Mandy, he lets out a throaty groan at the thought, teasing at Louis boxers, brushing his fingers under the band feeling Louis shaved skin, before Louis is doing the same to Harry, fingers brushing against his pubes.

"Say it" Harry says and Louis response comes without hesitation,"Go Harry"

Harry pushes Louis boxers down his legs and Louis does the same for Harry, Harry licks his lips at the sight of Louis hard leaking cock up against his stomach, released from the confines of his boxers.

Harry moves their hips closer together brushing their unclothed cocks together and Louis lets out a high pitched moan at the sensation on his sensitive skin.

Harry brings his big hands in between their bodies and takes his length and Louis length together in one hand, slowly stroking them both at the same time, pre come dripping from their slits making for the perfect amount of friction for Harrys hand to glide easily along.

Harry knows he is close and when Louis ducks his head and begins licking at Harrys sensitive nipples, he knows he is going to come.

"Lou-Louis not gonna last, ah a" Harry chokes out,

Louis doesn't stop licking and swirling his tongue around Harrys sensitive buds, moaning hot breathe onto Harrys chest, "Your hand feels so good, uh not gonna ah last either" Louis pants, as him and Harry both release their loads into Harrys fist, which has slowed down due to the sensitivity of the boys softening dicks.

Louis looks up at Harry and Harry can't help himself when he leans down and presses a soft kiss to Louis small lips before using his clean hand to brush Louis sweaty fringe out of his eyes, "M'gonna go get cleaned up kay" Harry asks.

"Kay" Louis responds before rolling over and closing his eyes, sleep pulling him back under again.

Harry moves into the bathroom, rinsing off his hands and pushing his curls out of his face, he wets a flannel and wipes off where cum dripped onto his tummy and decides to go back into Louis room and wipe off his tummy too, just incase it's messy, he doesn't want Louis sleeping in his own cum.

Harry moves quietly into Louis room, slowly pulling down the covers and revealing Louis perfect tanned body, his small frame sits perfectly with his toned chest and his little curves compliment the little curve in his belly, Harrys smiles in adoration and he is beginning to realize that he most definitely is falling in love with his best friend and as scary as it feels Harry can't help but smile knowing Louis might feel the same.

Its so much easier to admit to himself when it is just him and Louis, right after they have been intimate, right when nothing else in the world seems to matter. Harry moves in wiping down Louis stomach, which Louis sucks in when the now cold cloth makes contact with his skin, Harry leans down and presses a kiss right under Louis belly button because he just can't help himself.

He pulls the covers back over Louis and heads out into the kitchen deciding that when the blue eyed boy wakes up, Harry is finally going to sit down with Louis and tell him exactly how he is feeling, how he felt when he was with Mandy, how he might be gay or just gay for Louis, everything.

Louis P.O.V.

When Louis wakes up again he feels more refreshed and rested than he has felt in days. His mind is attacked with the events of last night and this morning and he cringes at himself.

Louis is annoyed at Harry and hurt that Harry would being a girl back to the flat to have sex with after him and Louis had already touched each other earlier that day. LOuis is disgusted in himself for letting Harry back in so easily.

He just couldn't tell Harrys face no last night especially when Louis knows how awful it feels to have no body by your side when you need someone there the most.

And as for this morning, Louis brain was clearly in his dick and he hopes he didn't give Harry the impression that his actions from the night before were excused just because they got each other off again this morning.

This morning, when Harry hadn't just got Louis off but then kissed him after and kissed him again so gently on his stomach,not sex kisses, just little kisses one might drop onto their partners. Harry is just so confusing and Louis doesn't want to be surrounded by it today.

Louis gets up throwing on clean boxers, black skinny jeans a read sweater and his black vans before grabbing his phone off his night stand and texting Zayn to meet him at their 'spot' ready with some weed and a bowl.

Louis makes his way out his room and into the kitchen where he see's Harry waiting, Louis looks up from under his eye lashes and his greeted with Harry standing over a tray of muffins and a pitcher of orange juice.

"Lou!" Harry calls upon noticing Louis presence, "S'made breakfast for us!" He says smiling, and god Harrys dimples seriously must have some kind of gravitational pull because Louis walks into the kitchen up to the smiling boy with curly hair.

"Thanks Harry" Louis says putting a hand on Harrys shoulder before reaching over and grabbing a muffin and a napkin and heading towards the door.

"Where are you going, I cooked them for us to eat together, I kind of wanted to talk to you" Harry says, shyly looking down at his feet, nervous for Louis rejection he can feel coming.

"You finally wanted to talk? right now?" Louis asks.

"Well, er uh yeah" The curly boy responds, "S'after last night I realized that we should really talk" He adds.

Louis shakes his head in disbelief, "S'little to late Harry, I mean you literally brought a girl home hours after you got me off and if you ask me thats kind of really fucking rude and wrong"

"Lou, but I know, but, its not like we are actually anything and Im trying to tell you that while I was with her I-"

"No Harry, no no no, I really don't want to hear about what happened with her" Louis says pausing before mumbling under his breathe,"Not actually anything, good to know though"

"What?" Harrys asks, "Speak Louder Lou, I can't hear you when you mumble"

"I said Harry its good to know we aren't actually anything, I've been trying to figure out what your feeling but that answers that for me, y'know what, whatever we actually never were, we aren't not anymore.. or whatever I don't know Harry I'm done with your games" Louis spits turning and walking out of the kitchen.

Harry is quick to follow grabbing Louis by the wrist and stopping him, "Lou, please I'm trying to tell you how I feel" Harry try's desperately.

"I don't give a damn how you feel Harry!" Louis says, ripping his wrist out of Harrys grip, both boys are left in tears when Louis leaves the flat and Harry is left in an empty kitchen with a heart full of emotions for the boy who left him there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UFsdkhfks when will these boys just get it right??
> 
> Anyway comment, leave kudos, subscribe maybe?
> 
> Let me know if its shit or not!
> 
> Chapter title is Shirtsleeves by Ed Sheeran:)
> 
> Also if you guys wanna listen to Friends by Ed Sheeran it's basically the song that inspired this story in the first place


	5. Told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "ImoanedyournamewhileIwascoming" Harry rushed out, and okay that is absolutely not what Louis was expecting, Louis would have expected to hear that a bird flew out of the girls vagina before he heard Harry say what Louis thinks he just said.
> 
> This does not even summarize the chapter, get over it :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> helloo lovelys, Hope you enjoy.
> 
> I attempted to make more sense out of what is going on in each boys mind in this chapter! Also no smut in this chapter, Idk if thats a good or a bad thing but yeah!
> 
> uhh I think thats it
> 
> Im gonna leave you guys with a fun fact , sometimes when I'm writing I get a tad distracted and I end up typing out like a full paragraph of the song lyrics I'm listening to and then I'm like when the hell did i stop typing the story and start typing the song thats playing?? shah this happen to anyone else?
> 
> okay rambling byee  
> -Nelly (@LouisBottomHalf)

Louis P.O.V. 

Louis walked down the street as fast as his little feet could take him until he got to the park he asked Zayn to meet him at. As Louis got further into the park he could see that Zayn wasn't alone. Liam and Niall stood by his side as they all laughed at something Niall must have said and Louis didn't want to tell all the boys Harrys 'business' again but right now Louis could not hold this in.

Louis could see the boys smiles turn to confused expressions quickly as Louis got closer and of course Louis must know that he looks insane but thats because he feels insane because Harry is making him absolutely insane.

"Mate, what t'hell you look like you just ran a marathon" Niall says to Louis.

"Honestly, lately life with Harry feels like I've been running a marathon" Louis says running his hand through his fringe.

"Ah c'mon Lou again" Zayn sighs, clearly tired of Louis and Harrys shit.

"Yeah mate again" Louis spits, "Sorry I'm just frustrated as usual" Louis amends.

"No big deal, what happened this time?" Zayn asks. Louis takes a moment to notice that Liam hasn't said a single word yet, not even hello.

"He brought a bird home last night, has sex with her while shamelessly moaning load enough that I could hear him through the walls.. then when I finally fall asleep they start fighting in the damn hallway, she leaves then Harry comes crawling into my bed and of course I can't turn him away so here he is sleeping in my bed, wakes me up this morning by giving me a mind blowing fucking orgasm and you know as appreciative as I was for that he can't just do that to me!" Louis finishes drawing in a big breathe because apparently he hasn't taken a breath the entire time he was talking.

"Well yeah he brought a chick back I set them up!" Niall says proudly, and Louis really wants to punch him square in the face right now but he settles for shooting him a death glare instead, he has to keep in mind that its not like him and Harry are actually anything anyway and its not Niall's fault.

Zayn rolls his eyes and Liam is busy picking at his shirt sleeves to look up at Louis. 

"Well did you talk to him about it" Liam finally mumbles.

"Well no, I've been trying to talk to him and he keeps blowing me off and then this morning he just decides he is ready to talk, when I'm all mad at him so I told him to fuck right off" the blue eyed boy answers.

"Lou, You were pissed off and upset with Harry when he wouldn't talk to you about it and now your doing the same thing right back to him! I don't care if you are mad at him or confused or whatever Lou but you can't be a hypocrite about this" Zayn says.

"Really, your going to take his side?" Louis says, bewildered. 

"Theres no fucking sides in this Louis, this is not between any of us and you guys, its between you and Harry and honestly if the two of you can't sit down for five minutes and figure it out then I don't know what you want me to tell you!" Zayn is clearly fed up with all of this at this point and it really is not right that Louis is trying to shove him in the middle Louis thinks.

Already stressed out and now getting yelled at by Zayn, which Louis was not expecting he stands there fighting back tears.

"Im sorry!" Louis says burying his face in his hands. Everything is to much and nothing is quite making as much sense as he thought it was in his head.

Niall steps forward rubbing Louis back, "Ah C'mon Lou, don't do that, no ones mad, we all just want you two to work this out, its not easy for anything of us to see either of you this way"

"What do you mean see either of us this way? What's Harry acting like?" Louis asks.

"All last night he kept friggen worrying if he should get home to you Lou and I just wanted him to have fun, so I kind of forced him to keep drinking and I set him up with Mandy and essentially this all is me fault" Niall says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well great" Louis says, "I don't know where to go from here, every things so fucked up"

"Listen Lou.." Liam begins, "I think you and Harry need to sit and talk and I think you both need to stop having sex with each other until you've gone and worked out how you both feel or else you and Harry are going to keep getting hurt"

Zayn nods, and Niall agrees, Louis knows Liam is right, he's always so damn sensible Louis could hit him sometimes.

"I mean I'm not taking sides Lou, you know that but you know what it is like to be figuring yourself out and if that is the case with Harry maybe it would be best if you two took some time, so he can decide what he wants, pretty sure you know what you want already babes, right?" Liam says.

"Yeah Li, thank you" Louis says.

"Ahhh speak of the devil!" Niall shouts pointing behind Louis.

Louis turns around to see none other than Harry standing at the gate of the parks, assumably waiting for Louis. 

Louis sighs turning back to the boys, "Well I guess its now or never than" he says, "Maybe we will stay and talk here, smoke a blunt or something, I don't want to be cooped up in the house and I think we will be less likely to argue out here in public"

"Good idea Lou, here i'll sacrifice my weed for the sake of you and Harry getting your shit together" Zayn says, handing Louis a blunt and throwing him a wink.

Louis laughs and Niall pats him on the back while him and Zayn begin to walk away. Liam steps forward bringing Louis into a big and mumbling in his ear to cut Harry a break because 'It must not be easy for him' and Louis is confused because what does Liam know but he ignores his mind and just gives Liam a small smile and a nod before Liam jogs off to catch up with the other boys.

Louis sits down on one of the swings waiting for Harry to join him. Louis looks up to see Harry still lingering by the gates, kicking rocks around with his toes his curly hair falling in his face from him looking down at the ground.

"Harry!" Louis calls and when Harry looks up at him with his bottom lip pulled between his teeth Louis heart melts, Harry looks so sad and confused and Louis hates that he is part of the reason why.

"Wanna swing with me or are you gonna spend the afternoon kicking rocks?" Louis says throwing Harry a wink.

Harry's smile could probably light the world brighter than the sun could and he is basically tripping over his two left feet to get to the swings and Louis can't help but smile and duck his head to keep from giggling in Harrys smiling face.

Harry sits on the swing kicking off and pumping his long bambi like legs, Instead of swinging Louis pulls out his lighter, lighting his blunt, taking a hit and then offering it over to Harry. Harry usually doesn't smoke so Louis is surprised when he drags his feet to stop his swing and takes the blunt from Louis finger tips.

Harry takes a big hit and lands himself in a coughing fit but once he calms himself he hands Louis back the blunt and begins to talk.

"I know last night was really like uh fucked up of me" Harry begins and curse words just sound weird falling from Harrys perfect lips Louis thinks.

"But i just wanted to apologize and maybe ask you to give me the chance to explain myself to you, if you'll uh listen y'know" Harry says.

Louis shrugs his shoulders taking another hit before answering.

"Well Niall just told me what happened out at the bar and I'm pretty sure I know what happened when you first got home so why don't you start with why you and the girl were screaming in the hallway" Louis says shifting his body towards Harrys.

Harrys face visibly blushes up to his ears, "Well uh, we were uhm you know fighting because…" Harry is taking ages longer than usual to spit out his sentence and Louis curiosity is taking over.

"C'mon now Harry spit it out" 

"ImoanedyournamewhileIwascoming" Harry rushed out, and okay that is absolutely not what Louis was expecting, Louis would have expected to hear that a bird flew out of the girls vagina before he heard Harry say what Louis thinks he just said.

"Oh my god, Harry… please repeat that" Louis says with a wild grin stretching across his face, Harry is clearly not ready to laugh about the situation yet but Louis can't help the chuckles that escape his lips.

"C'mon Lou, M'serious, it was so embarrassing and while I'm being honest I couldn't stop thinking about you the entire time"

Louis blushes and while he feels bad that his best friend made a complete arse of himself with this girl, and he probably shouldn't but Louis can't help but feel happy at the fact that Harry was thinking about Louis the entire time.

"Harry, m'sorry" Louis says.

"Don't be"

"Okay."

Theres a moment of awkward silence before Louis speaks again, keeping everything the boys said in mind.

"Harry, I really really like you and I don't mean I just want to snog you sometimes, I honestly want to be with you, full on, and I know your not there yet and I know you might never be there and thats why I think we have to stop all this"

Harrys eye brows are burrowed in and he looks so adorable that Louis just wants to lean in and kiss his lips, which is exactly why this needs to stop because Louis is falling harder and harder and Harry may not be ready to catch him, if ever.

"What, why, are you not enjoying it anymore? Did I do something you didn't like today?" And of course Harry is so quick to be hard on himself, Louis quicky corrects him.

"No Harry, believe me everything was perfect, I just think you need the time to think without the sex because its making everything so complicated and if I'm honest its hurting me more than anything" 

Harry takes a deep breathe and hangs his head low, "I understand".

"Harry pick up your chin, look at me" Louis says getting off his swing and moving to sit on Harrys lap.

"Look at me Harry, I like you a lot okay, so lets take a break from the sex and see if you like me to, without me making you feel good, then when you decide how you feel, we can move forward and figure out everything else"

Harry's P.O.V.

Harry wraps his arms around louis middle holding him tight to keep him from falling off his lap ad the swing that is clearly to small to fit both boys.

Harry doesn't want to admit it but he knows Louis is right so he settles on asking Louis for one last song before they stop this for good.

"Can we say 'go' then Lou, for the last time, please?" Harry says bringing his mouth inches from Louis, Harry can feel Louis take a deep breathe before he closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Harrys.

"Go" Louis says without opening his eyes and Harry doesn't waste a second before gently pressing his plump lips into his Louis. Harry moved his hands to cup the sides of Louis face just like the first time they kissed. The kiss is not dirty, just slow and passionate and Harry can't tell from the look on Louis face but Louis thinks he might cry thinking about how if Harry decides that he doesn't like Louis without the sex, that this could be their last kiss.

Harry's the first to pull back keeping his hand on Louis face, "Open your eyes love" he says.

Louis does as he is told and Harrys green eyes are met with Louis bright blue ones, he closes his eyes again and rests his forehead back onto Louis, never wanting to leave this moment.

"Were gonna be okay" Harry whispers before moving his face and planting a kiss on Louis head right where Harrys was just pressed.

"Promise?" Louis says barely louder than a whisper.

Harry stands up from the swing gripping Louis by the thighs and placing his feet on the floor, Louis looks up at Harry with an expression on his face that Harry is unfamiliar with coming from Louis, vulnerability. Harry knows he holds the power to make or break Louis heart which is scary enough for him on top of having to figure out if he is actually gay or not.

Harry takes Louis smaller hands in his and gives them a tight squeeze before responding, "Promise Lou, no matter happens, were gonna be okay."

Louis nods his head and they stand in silence a moment before Louis is reaching his hand up and ruffling it through Harrys perfect head of curls, "Good because I don't know who would cook and clean for me if we weren't" he says with a cheeky wink, much more like the Louis Harry is used to.

"Heeeey" Harry draws out, Louis turns around to begin walking home and Harry can't help but reach out and give his perky bum a little squeeze.

"Harold! You cheeky thing, keep your monster paws away from my perfectly sculpted arse" 

Harry giggles, he fucking giggles and Louis wonders why it took him this long, why it took him actually kissing Harry to realize how much he actually likes him.

They continue to banter on the way back to flat and things seem more normal than they have in days. Its around lunch time by the time the boys make it back to the flat.

Harry and Louis both have the munchies added onto the fact that neither of them have eaten all day.

"Harrrreh, m' practically starved over here" Louis says, throwing his body onto the couch.

"I'll cook! I'm thinking pizza hm?" Harry responds.

"Sounds absolutely and completely amazing please please please" Louis begs and really how could Harry say no to that?

He moves into the kitchen taking the frozen dough out of the freezer placing it into the microwave in a bowl with a damp towel over it, hitting the defrost button before moving to get out the rest of his ingredients.

"I insist this be my second lesson in becoming a master chef, would you agree?" Louis says, walking into the kitchen and ripping open a bag of crisps.

Harry walks over to Louis and snatches the snack away from the shorter boy, holding the bag of crisps above his head out of Louis reach.

"I don't know Louis, I think we found last time that its much more pleasant with you sitting you watch instead of making a disaster out of the food"

Louis is on his tip toes, tongue poking out from in-between his lips in concentration as he is trying his hardest to reach for the bag of crisps back.

"You giant ape!" Louis shrieks, "Give those back and I won't touch a any of the food until its ready to be eaten"

Harry pretends to ponder Louis offer for a moment before the microwave begins beeping. He tosses Louis his crisps back and makes his way to retrieve the pizza dough.

"Deal then" He says.

Louis smiles, proud to have his snack back, he jumps up sitting on the counter next to Harrys work area.

Harry sprinkles flour down on the counter top before rolling out the dough and adding on all of Louis favorite toppings, once he has finished and put the pizza in the oven the boys move into the living room to sit and wait for the food to finish cooking.

"Hey Harry" 

"Yeah Lou" Harrys says, picking up the remote to flick on the t.v.

"Have you spoken to Liam lately, about anything" Louis asks while flopping into Harrys lap, Harry spreads his legs allowing for Louis to nuzzle himself in the space between. He fits perfectly and him and Louis have sat like this time and time again so why has Harry never noticed this before.

"No….why? He say something about it?"

"No, no just today at the park, before you showed up I was talking to the lads and he just seemed like he knew more than he was saying out loud, S'weird" Louis responds shifting his weight to get comfortable and rubbing his back against Harrys dick in the process.

"That is weird, maybe your just thinking about it to much, I promise I haven't said anything"

"I don't mind if you do though y'know Liam does give good advice he seems to always see things both ways, you know how he is" Louis says back.

"I know" Is all Harrys says before ending the conversation trying to focus more on the T.v. than the way Louis little motions are effecting Harrys body.

Harry bites his knuckle and try's to play it cool because him and Louis are not being sexual right now but every time Louis shifts a little bit its like he is trying to coax Harrys dick to full hardness, Harrys torn between saying something or just pretending Louis is having no effect on him at all, but there is no way Louis can't feel Harrys hardening erection against his back, so Harry settles for some humor.

"Louis, would you mind holding still and maybe not crushing m' ball sack every 15 seconds please"

Louis blushes, obviously fully aware of what his movements have done to Harry.

"Sorry" Louis says before picking up his weight and shifting it off of Harrys dick. The Timer for the oven rings right at that moment saving Harry from further embarrassment. He springs up off the couch and heads into the kitchen adjusting his penis in his pants.

Him and Louis sit down to eat, the way they are shoving their faces with pizza this may as well be their last meals on earth. Louis groans when he finishes tilting his head back shirt riding up on his little tummy. Louis quickly yanks his shirt back down, but Harry ignores that, his eye's immediately find their way to Louis neck.

Harry wishes he could lunge across the table and suck right on Louis adam apple, make the older boy squirm under his touch, but other than the pizza filling his belly the other thing stopping him is the conversation and deal him and louis made earlier. No more sex.

Harry hasn't even realized how constantly tempted he was to touch Louis all the time until now, now that he wasn't aloud to touch, at least in the ways he wants to. It's like Louis is a fucking magnet, pulling Harry in and no matter how hard Harry try's he can't resist. His mind is constantly telling him no, that he is straight and no one turns gay after just one kiss, but his body is telling him otherwise.

Louis breaks Harry from his thoughts when he yells across the table,"Hey! we should totally all go out tonight, its been a proper minute since we have all been together!"

"Yeah, sounds good, I'll give Ni a call" Harry says clearing his throat.

When he looks back over at Louis his smile is reaching up to his shining eyes, making them crinkle on the sides the way Harry loves. Harry shakes his head and moves to clean up his and Louis dishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be kind of short, I was super busy with school and working out today but I reallly wanted to update!
> 
> I have some big plans for 6th chapter (hope it won't disappoint)
> 
> Chapter title is Drops Of Jupiter by Train
> 
> Loving the comments please keep them coming! they def helped a lot and i even used some ideas for this chapter:)
> 
> Thankyou for reading!
> 
> -Penelope   
> @LouisBottomHalf


	6. I think I need a sunrise I'm tired of the sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im not writing a summary but I cried while writing this chapter, maybe it was the songs that played plus the way I relate to Louis but either way I'm giving you all the list of songs to listen to while reading and maybe you will feel what I felt? idk give it a try.
> 
> Let her go -Jasmine Thompson   
> Boston- Augustana  
> Collide (acoustic) -Howie Days  
> Look after you - The Fray  
> Lego House-Ed Sheeran  
> Nothing-The Script  
> Wont go home without you- Maroon 5  
> A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope  
> Shirtsleeves- Ed Sheeran  
> Yellow -Coldplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I'm going to say, I think Louis is beyond perfect fetus and now so nothing I wrote I actually think, just Louis being insecure.
> 
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bwazpf3IcAA78hE.jpg:large
> 
> I don't know if this link is going to work but this is the Harry and Louis I'm picturing in my mind.
> 
> Occasionally this Harry because I believe I wrote about his hair being pushed back once in this
> 
> https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BpyZw5eCUAAjF-V.jpg:large

Louis P.O.V

It's almost time to leave to go out and Louis is still sitting on the floor of his bedroom in his tightest pair of jeans and a hurricane of clothes scattered across his bedroom. Nothing fits and nothing looks right and Louis is five seconds away from throwing himself into bed and not going out at all.

Louis gets up throwing on tight blue button up shirt and staring at himself in the mirror. The shirt pulls tight in all the wrong places, right over his little tummy and is lose on his arms, where he should have some type of bicep to fill them out.

Aggrivated in his own appearance Louis begins to unbutton the shirt as quick as he possible could, feeling trapped in its confines. HIs fingers aren't doing the job fast enough and his eyes are to blurred with tears to properly see what he is doing.

Louis doesn't even notice Harry is in the room until his big hands are over Louis helping him remove the buttons on his shirt.

"Hey hey hey, relax Lou whats wrong?" Harry asks, concern all over his face.

Louis doesn't want to answer he knows that as soon as he opens his mouth to answer his voice will crack and he will be a sobbing mess. Its not that Louis doesn't want to go out or doesn't like his style he just wishes his body was different.

He hates his curves and he hates how short he is and nothing ever seems to fit right in any of the right places, not like the way things fit Harrys tall skinny body, he is effortlessly gorgeous and Louis is just plain short, fat Louis.

Once the shirt is fully unbuttoned Harry envelopes Louis in a tight hug, Louis head tucked under Harrys chin and his arms wrapped tight around Harrys long torso.

"Shh, just breathe it's okay whatever it is" Harrys says into Louis hair, and no Louis thinks its not going to be okay because you are tall and gorgeous and absolutely flawless and I'm not even close to good-looking and how could a guy like you ever actually fall for a guy like me.

"No Harry, I don't wanna go out anymore, nothing fits me nothing looks good and I don't want to try anything else on" Louis sobs into Harry's shirt. Harry pulls Louis out of the hug and grabs him by his shoulders looking him dead in the eyes.

"Louis…what are you on about right now?" Harry asks in bewilderment. Louis looks up at Harry with tear filled eyes, how does Harry not see it?

"My arse looks like a women's in all my jeans, my tummy pokes out of all my shirts, I have no muscle to fill out the chest of the shirts and m-"

Louis is cut off when Harry pulls him back into his chest "You are being absolutely ridiculous! I love your bum! Everyone loves it Louis and you are so far from fat, look at yourself" Harry says grabbing Louis by his shoulders and facing him towards the mirror.

All Louis sees is a chubby boy with a red face and tears streaming down his cheeks, he feels so stupid and so small and he just wants to disappear right now.

Louis lets out a broken sob at the sight of him self, Sliding his shirt sleeves off his arms he walks away from the mirror and away from Harry in search of a looser shirt he can wear to cuddle up in his bed tonight. He hasn't felt this way since the day Harry left him alone at the flat but this time Harry doesn't leave.

"Just go out without me Harry, you and the lads have fun and I'm going to stay here, really" 

"Louuuu" Harry whines, "Please, you don't look fat in anything, I think your the most beautiful boy in the world" 

Louis heart jumps at Harry's words but he knows they are just kind words to make him feel better, not the truth. Louis is about to speak again when Harry comes up with an idea. 

Harry grabs Louis on either side of his face before shouting

"I know! You'll wear one of my shirts, they are bigger than yours and they won't be as tight, promise!" Harry says, green eyes shining and Louis doesn't even have time to reject the offer because Harry is dragging him by the wrist into his bedroom.

"Wait wait" Harry tells Louis as he turns back into Louis bedroom leaving Louis standing in the middle of the hallway with no shirt on. Louis waiting for Harry for about 30 seconds before his patience gives up, he is about to go in and find Harry when he comes back out with a pair of suspenders held in his hand.

"Okay C'mon" Harrys says.

Louis follows Harry into his bedroom and Harry shuffles around his draws before handing Louis a white V-neck tee and the pair of suspenders.

Louis quickly throws them both on, tucking the shirt into his jeans, Harry helping him clip the straps to the back of his pants. He turns to the mirror and Harry was right, his shirt is much looser and hides all the parts of Louis that Louis has become accustomed to hate about himself.

"Better?" Harry asks with hope in his eyes, and really how could Louis say no to that face.

"Better" he agrees and he swears Harrys smile in that moment burned brighter than a thousand suns.

"Thank god because you look right fit" Harry says.

"Well lets get a move on because I could really use a drink" Louis says, trying to sound cheeky but ending up just sounding sad.

Harry notices of course he does, "Louis really, you look good I don't know where this is coming from, C'mon lets have fun tonight"

Louis doesn't wanna hear Harry feed him anymore bullshit about his appearance so he nods his head and him and Harry leave to meet up with the other boys.

When they get to the bar Niall Immediately orders them all a round of shots and pints to wash down the shots, perfect Louis thinks. When they're shots arrive they all raise their glasses cheering to good times with best mates.Louis tips his head back taking the drink down, it burns the back of his throat but he shakes it off, catching a glimpse of Harry in the corner of his eye.

A pretty girl with a long brown pony tail is already hitting on him and they haven't even been at the bar for a total of ten minutes, Harry turns his back to the girl apologizing shyly and thats when Louis realizes, if Harrys decision in the end doesn't involve being in a relationship with Louis, Harry would have no problem, girls literally fling themselves at him even when he's not giving them the time of day. Its in that moment that Louis decides he can't just stand around while he waits for Harry to make up his mind, he has to keep himself available.

"No way!" Liam shouts across the able to Zayn.

"Yes way mate, I'm texting her right now" 

"Who!" Louis asks feeling out of the loop.

"Zayn is talking to that blonde bird Perrie from Little Mix" Liam says.

"Sweet mate" Niall says, "Hit that yet?"

Harrys face twists up in disgust at Niall's choice of words, "C'mon mate, really?" Harry says to Niall.

Niall shrugs and looks back over to Zayn to get his answer.

"Nah mate, I'm taking it slow, this one feels different I don't want to like fuck up or anything" Zayn says cheeks turning pink.

"AWWW" LOuis obnoxiously shouts to Zayn, "Looks like our Zaynie boy has a crush here"

Harry giggles at Louis which makes Louis smile.

"I guess so then, just scary I mean I have never been so worried about making the wrong move before" Zayn says, Louis really is happy for him, everyone deserves someone to make them feel the way Perrie must make Zayn feel.

"Im sure she's loving whatever your doing bebes" Liam says.

The boys continue on talking and Louis had a few drinks and is feeling light and floaty, laughing at all Nialls jokes, even the ones aimed at him. That is until he cracks one that Louis doesn't particularly find funny.

"Hey Lou, better watch your man then I reckon" Niall says tipping his chin towards where Harry has wandered off to with Liam to grab more drinks.

Louis heart sinks, he see's the same brunette from earlier hanging off Harrys arm.

"S'not my man Niall, he can do as he pleases" Louis replies lips pulled into a straight line.

Harry and Liam walk back over to the table, brunette girl in tow, they place down all the shots on the table, Louis picks his up and tosses it back not bothering to wait for the other boys before he is scooting out of the bench and getting up to head into the crowded bar.

"Where ya going?" Harrys calls to Louis.

"Oh I don't know just gonna mingle" Louis replays without looking back.

Louis didn't realize how drunk he was until he got up to move, drinking 3 shots and 5 pints sitting down probably wasn't the best idea, now that he has stood up the room is spinning but Louis feels good.

Looking around the bar for a companion for the night, Louis never realized how hard it could actually be to pick out a gay guy in a crowd. He doesn't wanna make an ass of himself by hitting on a straight man but then again he is to drunk to actually care so he saunters up to the bar and up to the first fit bloke he sees.

"Well hello there handsome" Louis slurs.

The man turns around, his brown eyes don't shine the way Harrys green ones do, but he does have a quiff of curly hair which Louis guesses will just have to do.

The man smirks before turning his full body around and grabbing Louis by his belt suspenders, pulling him closer.

"And what might your name be" The man says straight into Louis hear, Louis cheeks heat.

"Louis, and you?"

"Christian, would you fancy a drink then?" he asks, and Louis always fancies a drink so he nods his head and the man, Christian turns back around to the bar to order him and Louis something to drink.

Christian hands Louis some disgusting brown liquid but Louis drinks it anyway, slamming his cup down to the bar, his face twists in disgust from the nasty alcohol.

Christian laughs, "Your really cute Louis, I was watching you earlier, quite the comedian are ya?" 

"I might be" Louis says cheekily squeezing one of Christians nipples.

Christian squeals, taking Louis by the wrist and and leading him to dance. He turns Louis around pressing his frontside into Louis bum and Louis never actually danced with another bloke before but he just closes his eyes and presses further back into Christian, moving his hips to the beat of the music. 

"mmm" Christian mumbles into Louis ear, kissing down the side if Louis neck. Louis body doesn't tingle like when Harry does it but he doesn't stop Christian regardless.

"Your quite the dancer then" Christian says.

Louis turns his face around meeting Christians brown eyes, "Why yes, I'm not a comedian like you guessed I'm actually an exotic dancer"

Christian smiles and then leans in capturing Louis bottom lip between his teeth before full on snogging him in the middle of the bar.

 

Harrys P.O.V.

Harrys been watching Louis all night, Harry knows Louis drank to much but Louis was just so sad and Harry didn't wanna ruin his night so he let it be. He was planning on just keeping a close eye on Louis but now that Louis sauntered off Harry has no idea what he is up to.

Harrys sitting with Liam, Zayn and Niall went out for a smoke, well Zayn went out for a smoke and Niall followed him like the irish puppy dog he is.

"So you and Louis talked?" Liam asks.

"Yeah, we should be good now, sorry for all the fighting"

"Don't be, just wanted you guys to be happy, I know its hard" Liam replies, taking a sip of his water, so responsible Harry thinks. 

"Know what's hard?" Harry asks Liam, remembering what Louis had said about Liam to have seemed to know something more than he was letting on to.

"Just relationships mate" Liam shrugs.

"Everything with you and Dani okay?" Harrys asks, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah mate, everything is fi-" Liam cuts himself off, his gaze his pointed over Harrys shoulder and when Harry turns around to see what Liam's looking at he is met with the sight of Louis.

Louis with his arms wrapped around some mans neck, some man who is groping Louis ass, probably pressing his erection into Louis little thigh. Harrys stops breathing for a moment, jealousy coursing through his veins. He slams his drink down and stand up from his seat.

"Wait!" Liam says grabbing Harrys hand to stop him from doing anything rash.

"Let go of me Liam"

"No mate, what are you going to do? Go over there and rip him away?" Liam says and yes that is exactly what Harrys plan had been.

"What else do you suppose I do" Harry spits.

"Listen don't right now Harry, don't lash out on me and don't go embarrassing Louis"

"He's embarrassing himself with out me! You want me to let him be taken advantage of in front of the entire bar huh?" Harrys says.

"No! Just take a deep breathe, don't go over their angry Harry, your gonna do or say something you'll regret, please" And of course Liam's right.

Harry takes a couple deep breathes before he shakes his curls out and moves over to where Louis is now lifted off the floor legs wrapped around the mans body, still snogging.

Harry taps on Louis shoulder, not sure how exactly to approach the situation. Louis brings his head up and turns to see Harry, his lips are dark red from making out and he moves to unwrap his legs from the man, placing his feet on the floor and turning to Harry with a high grin on his face.

"Harry! This is Christian, Christian this is Harry M'flat mate" Louis slurs, he is swaying from side to side and Harry knows that Louis is going to throw up sometime before the night ends.

Christian reaches his and out to shake Harry's hand and really? But Harry extends his hand shaking Christians back. 

"Louis I think its time we get going" Harry says calmly.

"Nooooo" Louis whines, "Harry m'not ready to go" he finished hiccuping on the last word.

"I Don't know Lou, you seem pretty ready to me" Harry says, taking Louis by the hand.

Louis yanks his hand away and ouch Harry was not expecting that.

"I said I-" Louis starts to say before he is throwing up the contents of his stomach all over Harry and Christians toes.

"Ughhhhhh, disgusting" Christian snarls.

Louis face drops and Harry knows how Louis gets when he drinks to much and he knows he is going to cry.

"M'sorry I didn't mea-" Louis starts but Christian cuts him off.

"You didn't mean to? are you an infant you can't hold it until you get to a restroom!"

"Hey!" Harry cuts in, "He didn't mean to, he's drunk don't you dare yell in his face"

Louis moves in closer to Harrys side, Harry pushes him further behind his body, trying to shelter Louis from the world.

"Whatever, fucking twink" Christian mumbles before turning to walk off.

"Excuse me?" Harry questions, Christian turns back around taking a step closer to Harry.

"Your fucking friend is a little fucking tease and you're a fucking cock block" Christian says.

Harry doesn't even give it a second thought before he is pulling back and punching Christian in the face. Louis screams and Harry turns around quickly to make sure he is okay.

Liam comes rushing over and Harry has Louis tucked under his arm, Christian lying on the floor.

"Lets fucking go." Liam says and with that Harry basically carries Louis out of the bar. He feels no pain until he reaches the fresh air, his adrenaline is coming down and his fist is stinging and Zayn and Niall are all over them asking what happened.

Liam tells the story while Louis sobs into Harrys side, "M'gonna get Louis home, thanks Liam and see you guys tomorrow yeah?" Harrys says while calling a cab and helping Louis into the back seat.

Louis doesn't throw up again until they are back in the apartment, Harry is sat on the bathroom floor with him, rubbing his back and wiping his mouth with a wet flannel in between heaves.

Louis still crying and Harry knows between the sobs and the vomiting his throat must be a wreck.

"Don't move, Ill be right back" Harrys says before standing up and heading into the kitchen to get some water. He opens the fridge grabs a bottle and shits the door behind him. He takes a moment to rest his head against the wall and take a deep breathe.

When Harry returns to the bathroom Louis is sitting away from the toilet, his back up against the wall, fully dressed and sweating in his dirty clothes. Harry helps Louis remove his shirt before handing him the water.

"Thank you" Louis croaks. Harry just shushes him and brushes his fringe out of his eyes.

"Anything for you Lou" He says planting a small kiss on Louis temple.

Louis whimpers at that but Harry ignores it, standing him up and picking him up to carry into bed. Harry brings Louis into his bedroom laying him down before unbuttoning and removing his pants. Once Louis is down to his boxers Harry tucks his legs under the covers and leaves the room to get a pail to put next to Louis, just in case.

Harry decides to make himself some tea while he is up, he returns to the room near five minutes later and finds Louis sitting in front of the big mirror in Harry's room. Head tucked in between his knees.

"Louis are you gonna be sick again?" Harrys asks.

"No" Louis says.

"Okay then want to get back into bed with me?"

Louis mumbles something incoherent and Harry can't believe that Louis is still as drunk as he is even with throwing up so much of what he drank. Harry walks over kneeling next to Louis to try and understand him better.

Louis face is swollen from crying but his blue eyes are still pooling more tears.

"Harry M' so sorry" Louis sobs, looking up into Harrys eyes. Harrys heart breaks at the sad boy sitting on his bedroom floor so Harry sits behind Louis wrapping the smaller boy in between his legs, rocking him back and forth and shushing into his feathery hair.

"M'sorry I can't be what you want, and M' sorry I'm not skinny and petite or have muscles or long hair for you" Louis says and Harry knows he has no idea what he is saying, he is hardly making any sense.

"Louis your perfect for me love I promise" he says trying to calm Louis down.

"No Harry, Im gay and I'm not a girl" Louis says, barely able to hold up his own head, "M'not a girl, that would be so much easier for you, m' a boy and I'm not even a good boy because I'm not muscular and I'm not skinny I'm just a blob named Louis…a 'twink'"

"Oh Louis please don't" Harry begs. And Harry could really go back in time and punch Christian just a little but fucking harder because how dare he make Louis feel insecure.

Louis wipes his eyes and puts his head on Harrys shoulder, "M'not good enough for you, you deserve the brunette" Louis says.

And what? What brunette is Louis on about? Harry wracks his brain before he remembers the girl who was following him around for the beginning of the night.

"Lou, why would I want a brunette when I have a lovely a lovely carmel colored boy here in my lap?"

Louis shrugs and his eyes are beginning to close on Harrys shoulder so Harry carries Louis into bed for the second time that night. He gets in bed on the other side and pulls Louis close to him. Louis has never been insecure before, at least he never let it show to Harry, Louis is fast asleep in seconds but Harry is wide awake, tears dripping down his face for the sad boy in his arms.

 

Louis P.O.V.

Louis wakes up the next morning, sweating and wrapped up his Harrys arms. Flashbacks from last night are the first thing Louis see's when he opens his eyes and he quickly shuts them groaning at the throats. Harry starts to wiggle next to him so Louis pretends that he is still asleep, not ready to face Harry or talk about the events of last night.

Harry rolls over removing his arms from around Louis,"I know you're awake"

Fuck fuck shit. Louis opens one eye and shuts it again because his head is pounding and the room is spinning and he can't do this right now. The bed creaks next to him and Harry leaves the room.

Louis rolls over facing the wall, pulling the blankets over his head when he hears Harry plop back down next to him.

"I got you water and Parcetamol please sit up" Harry says.

Louis does as he is told swallowing the pill and drinking the full glass of water. 

"So last night was a mess" Louis says.

"Yeah" Harry agrees, Shifting and bringing his arms back around Louis body.

"You remember what happened?" Harry asks.

"Yeah for the most part, M'sorry Harry, is your hand okay?"

"My hands fine, please stop apologizing"

"Okay" Louis answers and he doesn't know what to say, he remembers everything he said to Harry and he really would prefer not to talk about his body image today. Louis says a quick prayer that Harry won't bring it up but he does, literally seconds after.

"You really hate yourself that much Lou?" Harry asks, voice cracking. Louis looks up to see a tear fall from Harrys eye and drip down his cheek.

"Aw Harry please don't cry, okay its just me I can't help it please"

Harry doesn't say anything he just moves so that Louis is laying down and Harry is kneeling next to him. Louis feels exposed with no covers on, only laying there in his boxers, he moves his hand to cover his tummy but Harry pulls it away and pins it to his side.

Louis doesn't expect what happens next, but Harry starts trailing kisses down Louis body starting behind his ears.

"I Love your short hair"

Kiss.

"I love your blue eyes and the way they crinkle when you laugh"

Harry kisses his cheek.

"I Love your small shoulders"

Harry presses three kisses trailing from Louis neck down to his chest.

"I love your chest and your skinny arms"

Louis gets the chills as Harry kisses the middle of his chest before moving to trail a line of kisses down Louis arm.

"I love your dainty wrists"

Kiss.

"I Love your little tummy, and your hips"

Harry continues pressing small feathery kisses over Louis stomach and sides and Louis trying not to wiggle under the light touch.

His eyes are filled with tears and memories, he felt so empty last night he felt so alone and miserable in his own skin he wanted nothing to do with himself. But here in Harry's presence under Harrys light kisses and kind words Louis feels full, he feels happy and special and he feels really loved.

Tears are streaking down Louis face as Harry continues, skipping over Louis groin Harry kisses each of Louis thighs over his knees down his calves and even kisses the tip of Louis littlest toe.

"I love your thighs and your ankles"

Harry moves back up Louis body until he is hovering over Louis face.

"Louis Tomlinson, I love every inch of you from your head to your toes and I swear I may not know exactly what I want all the time and I know I'm confusing, you don't even know what's going on in my mind, I might not like men Louis but I know for sure that I like you, love you even Louis"

Harry's tears are dripping off his own face down onto Louis mixing in with Louis tears.

"Harry.." Louis begins to speak but Harry shushed Louis with a light kiss to his lips.

"M'sorry if I ever made you feel like you meant any less to me, your perfect for me Louis"

Harrys curls are a mess from sleeping and his eyes are a little swollen probably from the lack of sleep Louis caused, but with the morning light streaming through the window onto his face Harry looks like the most beautiful boy Louis has ever seen and hearing all this come from his mouth means more to Louis than Harry will ever know.

Louis leans up and kisses Harry one last time before Harry rolls out of bed and heads into the shower. Louis just lays there thinking about everything, "Harry" He calls out.

Harry turns around, "Is uh our deal still on? Are we still waiting?"

Harrys sighs, "I think so Lou, M' not ready yet" 

Louis chest feels heavy at Harry's words but he brushes it off because he is special and Harry loves him.

"Okay" Louis answers.

"Okay" Harry replies before heading off into the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for the chapter is Boston by Augustana   
> If you've never heard it I HIGHLY recommend listening to it, its so beautiful and I believe everyone has their own Boston so! yeah please listen and if you let me know in the comments if you enjoyed it.
> 
> Also I have a thing for insecure Louis and Harry making him feel beautiful, I wish I had someone like the Harry I write about:(
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed
> 
> Comment, leave kudos and tweet me:)
> 
> -Penelope (@LouisBottomHalf)


	7. Theres magic between you and me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis squirms but looks Harry dead in the eyes when he replies this time, "Promise Harry, I wanna do it the right way".
> 
> Harry doesn't think twice before he leans down and presses a quick kiss to Louis welt before moving up and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Harry freezes as does the tan boy in front of him.
> 
> "uhh" Louis brings his finger up to his lip and touches where Harrys lips had just been as if he could still feel them there, and Harry understands why because he has the same feeling, like every time they kiss a little jolt of electricity shocks their lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy potato okay so I guess I kind of suck and abandoned my baby, I have actually been trying to find someone to take over this fic for me but none feels right haha. Any way I just went through a pretty tough breakup, I was struggling through finals and not to mention I am a Communications major so i basically take all english classes and am constantly writing essays so I just sort of lost track of this!
> 
> I am sorry and I probably lost all 7 readers I had but please come back because I'm back and I promise I won't leave again!
> 
> Anyway short chapter because its 4am but I really wanted to fill in some space here.
> 
> Ive added photos to the chapter, basically theres random links that I realize you're probably gonna have to copy and paste into the search bar..sorry but just don't look at them if you don't wanna!
> 
> IT IS 447 AM AND I DID NOT PROOF READ THIS SO DEAL.
> 
> okay enjoy:)

Harrys P.O.V.

The next few days passed by as normal, well as normal as things could go under the circumstances. 

Harry's in his bedroom watching Friends re runs, shoving popcorn into his mouth when he hears Louis scream from the other room. Harry is used to Louis antics screaming like somethings actually wrong and having Harry come run to the rescue to find that Louis was just to lazy to get up and get himself a cuppa but this time Harry could tell this was no joke.

Harry paused for a second after hearing the blood curdeling scream, muting his T.V. and perking up his ears for a follow up call for help, he hears nothing. He Shucks off the bed sheets and rushes towards Louis room, on the way over Harry hears another noise come from the bedroom, this one sounded more like a moan and not the kind Louis makes when he's turned on, because well..Harry knows these things now.

"Louis?" Harry questions from out in the hall, jiggling Louis door handle to find its locked.

"Louis open the fucking door whats going on in there?" Harry began to panic.

"Fuck Harry" Louis moaned out, "god I can't move this is so embaressing".

"Louis wheres the key to your door, are you okay?"

Harry hears shuffling and some more groaning behind the door before the lock clicks, he pushes the door open and sees Louis doubled over and running into his bathroom, throwing up into the toilet.

Harry quickly walks into the bathroom behind Louis rubbing his shirtless sweaty back, "Holy shit Lou, are you okay?"

"Fuck… no. Exercising is the devils work Harry I should have you know" Louis chokes out in between heaves.

Harry lets out a small chuckle because Louis is not one to exercise, like ever and the mere thought of it has harry grinning ear to ear. The smile is quickly wiped off his face when Louis starts throwing up yellow bile into the toilet.

"woah woah easy Louis breathe here, sit back and drink some water" Harry rushes over to the sink to fill up a paper cup of water for Louis, when Harry turns around Louis back against the cold tiled wall, obviously relieved from the cool tile on his hot skin. Harry brushes back Louis fringe and takes a moment to look Louis up and down. Besides the fact that Louis looks proper fit wearing a pair of tight spandex that come down mid thigh under a pair of loose clear nike running shorts, Harry can't help but notice the giant welt in the middle of Louis stomach. ( https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7e/26/0a/7e260a1fb42100be8463a159e8842bfe.jpg) /p>

"Christ Louis what happened" Harry asks, worry flashing across his face.

"The fucking rubber band of death snapped me in the stomach, I saw stars Harry, I nearly blacked out from the impact". Louis looked down at the damage done on his stomach, Harry noticed that Louis began working out a few days back after he recovered from his killer hangover. Harry assumed it had to do with the breakdown Louis had the night they went out and so he didn't question it when Louis came home with a bag filled with exercise equipment that was no doubt stole from Liams house. 

Louis closed his eyes and rest his head back against the wall, Harry took it upon himself to reach out and touch the welt that was red and angry on Louis stomach. As Harry gently rubbed his finger over the bump Louis nearly gagged right there on Harrys hand.

"Bloody hell Styles, is that really your first instinct to just touch the damn thing" and okay breathe Harry, Louis was just cranky from the diet and exercise just let it go.

"Sorry" Harry blurted out as he rose to his feet and scooped Louis up, "Put me down you giant ogre I have legs I can walk!" Louis wailed, Harry ignored him and plopped him down onto his bed.

"Sit..Stay" Harry commanded, he turned his back and went towards the kitchen to fetch Louis some ice and some more water. He heard Louis bark as a reply to the commands and Harry couldn't help but smile at his sass. (http://media.tumblr.com/ebd94c77c38f2a636afd1849e4be2988/tumblr_inline_ncgfk3XK3M1rwr2dd.gif)

Harry Juggles a glass of water and a bag of ice in his hands while he kicks the fridge shut and heads bad into Louis bedroom, He sees Louis in the hallway, standing still with his head down and his eyes closed tight, his hand was pressed against the wall while his other was cupped over his forehead.

"Louis.. are you going to be ill again?" 

"No, I'm just dizzy is all"

"Well why are you dizzy..Louis have you eaten today before working out?" Harry questions Louis, but he thinks he already knows the answer.

"No, I was going to have lunch after I didn't expect to end up like this" Louis looks up at Harry now, his eyes are watering and Harry can tell Louis been far to hard on himself the past few days.

Harry knew it, he moves forward gripping Louis around the waste to help him walk back to bed.

"No harry I was heading into your room I wanna come hangout" Harry cringes, not only is Louis sweaty from his workout but he also was just vomiting in the bathroom, Harry pushes that all aside with one look at Louis face, his eyes are red rimmed and tearing and his cheeks bones are pulled tight from Louis clenching his jaw, he seems nervous for Harry to answer and Harry never wants Louis to feel that way

"To my room we go then" Harry helps Louis into the room, gets him cozy in bed before grabbing his cheeks and looking Louis dead in the eye.

"Louis, I'm glad your working out and eating better because it makes you feel better about yourself, and although I think your beyond perfect the way you are I know you're not gonna stop, so you will continue on with my rules now."

"And what would those rules be…" Louis questioned.

"No skipping meals, not ever but especially not before a workout" Louis opens his mouth to talk but Harry interrupts, "oh and no over doing it, you've worked out 4 days in a row Louis, tomorrow you relax, yeah?"

Louis drops his head but nods anyway, Harry lifts up Louis chin using two fingers, "look at me, I'm not trying to be bossy..but I care about you and your health got it" Harry finished by poking Louis on the nose.

Louis squirms but looks Harry dead in the eyes when he replies this time, "Promise Harry, I wanna do it the right way".

Harry doesn't think twice before he leans down and presses a quick kiss to Louis welt before moving up and pressing a quick kiss to his lips. Harry freezes as does the tan boy in front of him.

"uhh" Louis brings his finger up to his lip and touches where Harrys lips had just been as if he could still feel them there, and Harry understands why because he has the same feeling, like every time they kiss a little jolt of electricity shocks their lips.

Louis is still trying to stutter out a sentence when Harry realizes thats the first time they have kissed since Harry peppered Louis entire body with kisses and then decided that he needed his space to think. Its been four days, five counting today and Harry wasn't sure he was ready to give Louis a solid answer yet. Its been days of Harry watching Louis run around the house trying to be healthy, trying not to invade Harrys space all too much, Louis hasn't slept in Harrys bed in days and Harrys beginning to miss it...alot and he knows he has to figure this all out soon, it isn't fair not only to himself but to Louis. 

Although Louis claims everything he is doing is to better himself Harry knows, Harrys knows it isn't because Louis cried in his arms that he didn't feel he was fit enough for Harry to choose him, as if Harry had a line up of significant others he was selecting from. Harry wants to show Louis that he's perfect, perfect for Harry but he's still just not ready. I mean he's been Harry styles for 17 years, straight Harry and now he has no idea who he is and he's not sure he can figure it out in just a week.

Point is it was dumb of Harry to kiss Louis, he wasn't thinking and now its going to be even harder on Louis, great going Styles.

Harry looks up from his thoughts into Louis blue eyes, "I um I am gonna go make you brunch and um m'sorry" Harry spits out before turning and walking out of the room.

"Don't be Styles" Louis calls out to him, just as cheeky as ever but Harry knows its not as easy for Louis as Louis is trying to make it seem.

Louis P.O.V.

Louis is absolutely buzzing by the time Harry returns back to bed with a plate of eggs and half a muffin for Louis to eat. Harry cares..its been days since they've spoke about their feelings and not that Louis is needy or anything but a few days of no Harry does things to a boy. Not only does he care but he kissed Louis like it was a normal thing, like they always just go around dropping pecks to each others lips. Louis must have been stuck in his bed because Harry began nudging Louis with his arm.

"Lou..LOU" 

"Mmm, sorry Hazz" Louis answers taking the plate and beginning to eat his food. He glances over to see Harry beside him flicking through the channels a few times before settling back on his original program.

Louis finishes eating, sets his plate down on the night stand and then inches in closer to Harry. He lifts up Harrys arm and drapes it around his shoulder tucking himself into Harrys side. Harrys body stiffens against Louis before he lets out a sigh and goes pliant. And ok what the fuck was that…

Louis turns his head up to look at Harrys face, get a better idea at what the boys thinking. Harry must feel Louis staring because with out turning his head from the television he spits out "what are you looking at" and okay ouch?

"Sorry, uh just never mind then" Louis responds not wanting to upset Harry any further, he's not even sure what hes done wrong in the first place. Its quiet for a moment and Louis shuffles his body around a few times before Harry starts realizing Louis discomfort.

"What Louis just spit it out!" 

Louis body jolts from the shock of Harrys tone, he sits up out from under Harrys arm. "What have I done to you now?" Louis presses.( http://static.tumblr.com/9e97e7c5b43a4b87d225b8a397ef9c28/ozbtp5m/vN7msksl0/tumblr_static_larry_1000.gif)

"What are you on about I haven't said a bloody word you're the one who clearly has something to say" Harry answers.

"You didn't have to say anything Harry I can feel your discomfort from the moment I cuddled into you..did you not want that?" Louis is trying to be strong he really is but he has had a rough morning, his exercise was ruined, then Harrys taken care of him, freaken kissed him, but all of a sudden Louis cuddling up is a crime. As if they haven't done this a million times before.

Harry rolls his eyes, "Its not a big deal Lou, I just don't need you getting the wrong idea over this".

Womp. There it is. 

"The wrong idea?" Louis says, looking at Harry with squinted eyes. Louis can handle this one of two ways. One he could get mad, tell Harry he's being big headed and to get his head out of his own arse or two he can brush it off and try to talk to Harry maybe even get a sense of what the curly headed boy is feeling because honestly he's lost Louis at this point.

Louis decides to go with the latter, he reaches forward and grabs Harrys hand. "Hazz look at me please, stop being mad or whatever"

Harry turns his face, his green eyes go soft as he stares back at Louis, "m'not mad at you"

"Okay then, no need to have the attitude with me, Harry I don't care if you don't have this all figured out yet okay" Louis pauses gathering his thoughts, he does care its evident he cares so he feels the need to elaborate with Harry, maybe if Louis more open Harry will be too.

"You know I want you to figure it out, whatever that may mean, how ever long it might take, yeah waiting will be rough Haz but honestly I would rather wait then scare you off. Okay and you know you need to speak to me about things, yeah the kiss might've got me excited but we always cuddle, we cuddled even before any of this started happening. If anything the kiss gave me the wrong idea not the cuddle, please don't completely shut me out..I've missed you the past couple days and I know we agreed, no more sex or snogging until you've figured it out but why can't we bloody cuddle?"

Louis feels his hands being encompassed by Harrys and when he looks up he sees no anger in Harrys face, "Your right" Harrys says pulling Louis hand, placing his arms around his neck pulling the smaller boy into a hug. Harrys head is now nestled into Louis shoulder and he can feel the vibrations of Harrys voice as he speaks. "I shouldn't have reacted like that and I shouldn't have led you on with the kiss, you're being so good about all of this and I know I keep snapping at you I'm just frustrated with myself. Im sorry".

Louis hugs Harry tighter before pulling away and settling back into Harrys side, Harry pulls him in and presses a kiss to the top of his head. Louis smiles and they sit in a comfortable silence watching tele for the next couple of hours. He's glad he didn't snap back at Harry, the two of them get no where when they fight and now Louis has a better understanding of the boy he just can't seem to get enough of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for this chapter is Illusion by ONe Erection (awesome song great band you should all check them out)
> 
> Sorry if this chapter was shitty and short its sort of a filler and a sorry I haven't updated in 83904892304 days:)
> 
> Next chapter will be longer and prob have some smut so stay tuned children.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed
> 
> Comment, leave kudos and tweet me:)
> 
> -Penelope (@LouisBottomHalf)
> 
> and if I'm being honest you can reach me at @1d_overeighteen


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretttttyyyyy steamy.

It's been three weeks since Louis started working out. Three weeks since Harry and Louis haven't engaged in anything beyond a cuddle. It's been three weeks of pure torture for Harry, and probably Louis too, but Harry can't help but to feel sorry for himself.

Louis walks around the flat day in and day out in extremely skin tight spandex leggings, usually with no shirt. Not to mention if Harry thought Louis body was drool worthy before, the fact that he know has an extra defined curve above his bum, which has listed at least an inch higher since he started doing those deadly squats.

Harry swears Louis is purposely trying to torture him with those squats. He will wait until Harry is starting dinner up in the kitchen before he comes sauntering into the kitchen to use the dining room chairs as workout equipment.

As if on cue, here comes Louis putting himself right in Harrys view. He's got two chairs side by side, each weighed down with the heaviest little novels Louis could find on Harrys bookshelf. He started by mid squatting, jumping up with on foot on each other chair, and then once up, going into a deep squat whilst still on the chairs before standing up and jumping back down.

Its not that Harry doesn't appreciate the view, because he really does, like really does. He just doesn't appreciate the semi it leaves him with, while he's grasping onto the kitchen counter with his eyes screwed tight trying to calm his body down.

"Louis, again.. really. Must you really do those right here and right now while I'm cooking?" Harry draws out, his two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Um, yes young Harold, I must. The smell of the food is rather motivating as I know ill be rewarded for my hard work, plus I'm not dragging these chairs all over the house. Lets not act like your not enjoying the view then." Louis quipped back, while his little strong legs launched himself back up onto the chairs.

Harry giggled and rolled his eyes leaving Louis to finish his workout. The way Louis goes about 'being healthy' is utterly adorable. He starts the day with a big filling breakfast, by the time lunch rolls around he's managed at least two healthier snacks, even if that involves popcorn and dark chocolate. His dinner are usually reliant on Harry, so they've all been at lest fresh and then by dessert Louis usually dug his way through at least one bag of crisps. 

Honestly Harry doesn't know how but, somehow Louis managed to lose body fat and gain muscle. He looks absolutely fit and Harry has been dying to break his own rules and snog Louis against every surface in the entire flat. The thing is the more comfortable Harry has become with the idea of him and Louis, the stricter Louis has become with Harrys rules. He just wants Harry to be sure and the thing is Harry is sure he just doesn't know how to make the next step.

He's gone through so many different thoughts about what he wants and feels in the past three weeks, his mind has finally relaxed on his decision. He's not settled on the term gay because, well he knows he has felt attractions to girls as well as Louis, but none have made him feel the way Louis has, and he has never felt attraction to any boy at all let alone the attraction he feels towards Louis. He's voiced this to Liam, who patiently sat there and helped Harry come to terms with the fact that he was pansexual. He loves who he love, regardless of gender.

Its time he sat down and spoke to Louis about it, tonight over dinner.

Louis finished up his workout and headed back into his bedroom to get cleaned up for dinner while Harry finished up cooking. Harry went on to set the table and put the contents of their meal onto plates for them to eat. Once everything was set he went down the hall to retrieve Louis. And okay maybe he should have knocked before walking into Louis room because he is currently staring at Louis, completely bent over with his leggings around his ankles as he was struggling to get his feet free from the tight material.

Harry was was completely drooling, Louis lightly sweaty, practically sparkling skin on display. His back muscles leading into the perfect arch right above his tight little ass. His plump ass cheeks hiding his hole, but his legs are spread just far enough apart that Harry has a view of his cock hanging between his legs. Harry let out an audible growl that had Louis whipping his head around.

"Har-Harry! Jesus, pick your jaw up off the floor and maybe come help me out of these traps they like to sell as leggings." Louis was completely clueless to just how aroused Harry was by all of this.

Harry made his way towards Louis, stilling the smaller boy with a large hand on his lower back. "Baby, you have no idea how badly I want to help you" Harry whispered into Louis ear, causing shivers down Louis spine.

"I-Uh- apparently I don't Harry."

Harry bend down leaving Louis upper body bent over the bed. He helped Louis slip each foot out of his leggings before kissing his way back up his leg, stopping to leave a nibble on the bottom of Louis bum. Louis squeaked at that and arched his back a bit more. The small contact making him want more.

"Can I please show you then?" Harry asked Louis, ever too politely for the situation the boys were in.

Louis let out a breathy moan pushing his butt back against Harrys hand. Harry dragged a fry finger up against Louis hole, tapping on it twice, making Louis twitch before stopping completely.

"I need an answer before I continue Lou." Harry sing songed.

Louis moaned. This is the closest Harry has ever come to any kind of sexual contact with Louis bum and it was driving them both wild.

"uhhh, Harry, you know I want it, but we can't yet." Louis was denying Harry, but his little body was saying otherwise. Regardless Harry was not about to continue without verbal consent.

Harry pulled his hands away, turning Louis over to sit him on the edge of the bed, he inserted himself between his strong legs, placed his hands on the side of his face and put his forehead against Louis'.

"Louis, I never want to convince you to do something you don't want to do, but baby I know you want this and I promise, promise you I know what I want. Its you. Let me make you feel good and I promise I'll tell you everything I've been thinking at dinner."

Louis bit his lip, "Thats a lot of promises Haz."

"I wouldn't make them if I couldn't keep them." Harry looked into Louis eyes waiting for an answer. 

He released his lip from in-between in teeth and nodded up at Harry.

"Yes?" Harry questioned.

"Yes Harry, please." Louis begged.

Harry wasted no time, pushing Louis body down into the bed and lifting his legs, so that they were bent at the knees.

Harry wanted to make Louis feel good, both of their cocks were hard and aching, but Harry has never done this before and to be honest he was nervous.

Louis felt the hesitation and began to speak. "Change your mind already then."

Sassy as ever, Harry thought. "I didn't change my mind, I'm nervous. I don't know what I'm doing."

Louis sat up and pulled Harry closer to him by his hips. "And you think I know what I'm doing! I don't Haz, and neither do you and thats okay because we can figure it out together. M'not gonna laugh at you and believe it or not I'm pretty nervous to have you down there too."

Harry took a breath and kissed Louis on the lips. "You're right baby, well figure it all out."

Somehow Louis felt like that statement held a deeper meaning but for now he jus sighed content, and laid himself back down.

Harry climbed on top of him on the bed, the two boys began snagging and rutting against each other slowly until they were both coaxed to full hardness. 

Harry climbed off from on top of Louis, standing in between his wide spread legs. Louis was being so needy letting out the tiniest moans and writhing in the sheets.

"What do you want me to do baby?" Harry asked while running his fingertips up and down Louis thighs. 

Louis back arched up off the bed, "Need your mouth, please."

"Where baby, here?" Harry asked before lowering his mouth down onto Louis leaking cock.

Louis let out a loud moan, grabbing onto Harrys hair, guiding his head with each movement.

"Fuck Harry, your mouth is so good, got me so wet." Louis moaned out.

Harry popped off Louis cock lips red and swollen. He began sucking on Louis inner thighs, leaving purple bruises for Louis to remember this moment by.

He took a deep breath before coming up to flip Louis over onto his hands and knees. Harry pushed Louis back down so his face and upper body were on the bed, but his juicy ass was in the air.

"Jesus Lou, you look like a bloody pornstar. Could come just from this." Harry said in awe.

He laid a flat hand onto Louis cheek, slapping his perky little ass and causing Louis to jump.

"Stop teasing, fuck" 

Without further adieu, Harry spread apart Louis round, and now red cheeks, exposing his tight, pink, little hole. Harrys cock twitched, and he wished he had a free hand to jerk himself off to this sight.

He leaned forward licking a stripe over Louis hole, eliciting a moan from the smaller boy.

Harry was addicted after the first lick, he went back in sucking and nibbling around sensitive Louis hole. Louis looked so pretty, so wrecked and needy, all for Harry.

"Need more." Louis said, face buried in the sheets.

"Going to use my fingers now baby, ok?" 

Louis replied with a loud moan, Harry pushed in two wet fingers alongside his tongue. Louis back arched and his hole clenched around Harrys fingers.

"Y'alright?" Harry asked, concerned he was hurting the boy.

"S' a lot, feels good, so full Haz." Louis was satisfied but Harry wanted to give him more.

Harry continued pumping his fingers, stretching out Louis hole as best as he could. Harry pulled out and turned his wrist plunging his fingers in at a new angle, earning him a scream out of Louis mouth.

"Ahhh, fuck, more, again, please, need it" Louis was so desperate. Harry plunged back in abusing Louis sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Need more!" Louis begged.

"Want me to fuck you baby, want to try to take my cock?" Harry asked, desperate for some contact for himself.

"Please, want to ride you." 

At that, Harry climbed onto the bed, and leaned his body against the headboard while Louis climbed into his lap.

Harry applied a generous amount of lube onto his dick, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Louis, and he knows he isn't exactly small.

Louis braced himself with his hands on Harrys shoulders, while he sunk down onto Harry's cock.

Harry could not handle how warm and tight Louis hole felt, clenching around his length overtime he tried to move. Harry had to physically close his eyes and take a deep breath while Louis bottomed himself out.

Once he was adjusted and comfortable around Harry's throbbing cock, he began to bounce up and down slowly.

"Your ass is so fucking tight Louis, I'm going to fucking come soon baby. You're driving me insane." Harry moaned, throwing his head back.

"You love it don't you though? Having me bouncing up and down in your lap, you've been dying to fuck me haven't you?" Louis teased.

"I have, been dying for it, dying for you for weeks. You're all I want Louis." Harry replied, bending his knees up for better leverage as he began to pound into Louis.

Louis stilled his own movements, while tightening his grip on Harrys biceps.

"Unhh, Harry. I just want to be good enough for you, always want to make you happy.

Harry barely had time to respond before Louis was coming all over Harry's stomach, completely untouched.

Seconds after Harry came, buried in Louis ass, unable to handle the sensation of Louis hole clenching around cock so sporadically from his orgasm.

Louis laid his head down on Harrys chest. "You've always been enough for me Lou." harry breathed out, at a loss for words. Louis was so fucked out he honestly just wanted to sleep, he answered Harry with a nod and a peck on the lips.

Harry pulled his softening length from Louis hole, Louis hissing at the cool air.

"You might just be the sexiest human being in the entire world, Louis. You drive me insane." Harry wrapped an arm around Louis body and kissed the side of his forhead.

The two of them laid there, without a care in world. Both sweaty and sticky, Harrys orgasm dripping from Louis hole.

Harry got up a little while after, laying a sleeping Louis down on the clean side of the bed. He went into the bathroom got a warm flannel and returned to wipe down Louis bum and thighs. Seeing himself dripping out of Louis, was definitely one of the hottest things he has ever seen. He has never come inside a girl, and it so much more intimate ending that way with Louis.

After Harry cleaned them both up, he headed into the kitchen to heat up there dinner, that was now cold. If he thought he was sure before, he was even more sure now, he wanted Louis to be his boyfriend and he wanted to tell him as soon as he woke up, over a hot dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO haven't written on this in over a year, pretty long time. I have come back to all my fics to finish and I decided to come back to this one with some serious smut, hope it wasn't awful and enjoy!
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT IF YOU DECIDE TO READ OR IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME READING OR WHATEVER I JUST LIKE TO READ FEEDBACK IM MORE LIKELY TO POST QUICKER!

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has gotten this far then say hello in the comments, it sucks when I write a chapter and then feel like no one read it:/


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